Feb 11 2015
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Identity

all the feels none of the reals

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I’ll be the 4th person to tell you that I’m a bit emotional. If you want confirmation from the first 3, just let me know and I’ll put you in contact.

I have a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me in both good and bad ways. Emotions can make us think we’re completely invisible one day, and the person the earth rotates around the next. They can cause tremendous pride to well up inside while at the same time begin to nurse a smidgen of anxiety that’s just starting to creep its way into the mind.

Emotions can also help us to be grateful, joyful, hopeful, in awe of the world, and loved.

Emotions are funny.

The problem I find myself in on occasion is letting my emotions become my reality. A guy without a ring on his left hand shoots me an eye and precious little smile and I assume we’ll be engaged within a week. Same guy can glance past me as I’m sitting in a corner talking to a friend and I’m extremely aware of how he doesn’t even know I exist. The I sit in those feelings and lose focus of who I am in Christ. I forget that God made me an emotional person for a good purpose – not so I could dwell on a dude’s brief interaction with me.

As a single lady in the church, I think it’s also easy to get really wrapped up in what others have to say about the guys in our lives. It’s easy to listen to people telling me, “Well, you know he’s single and he really loves Jesus so you two will probably end up together,” and then fantasize about what our wedding pictures will look like.

(I should take a moment to mention here that I am highly exaggerating these instances & responses for effect. Don’t think I’m too much of a basket case.)

We need to be careful and aware of our emotions. As cliché as it might sound, we need to know that God has made each of us in unique and beautiful ways. It’s okay for me to be an emotional person, if I’m emotional in a way that moves me towards Christ and understanding who He has made me to be. It’s okay for me to be emotional if I’m becoming more aware of my neighbors & their needs, drawn into service of those around me.

It’s not okay for me to be emotional if I let anxiety, insecurity, fear, and doubt rule my life and become my reality.

Y’all, we can’t let the feels become the reals. Know that who you are in Christ will never change. He has died for you – and all of your emotions – so you can rest secure in knowing that His redemptive reality is the most true thing we can know. Let the words of Paul be your reality. Feel this deeply today:

If anyone is in Christ, (she) is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself…for our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 18, 21)

*Watch Darlique & Barney have some fake fights here! (or are they?!)

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Feb 04 2015
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Relationships

50 shades of no thank you

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I’m not totally sure if you’re aware of a certain movie that is coming out on a certain weekend fairly soon, but if you haven’t heard of it (or you don’t understand what I’m alluding to) then you probably don’t watch much television or listen to people talk. Maybe I’m the only eavesdropper in the crowd. I don’t know.

ANYWAYS, I will not be watching that movie. Nor will I be reading the book. (is there more than 1? Don’t know, don’t care).

And here’s why:

It paints an unhealthy picture of what sex is and sets us women up for emotional attachment to an object/ideal that will never satisfy and will ultimately leave us more empty than we could probably imagine.

Take this from someone who has struggled with romanticizing and fantasizing about love, life, intimacy, etc.

It never ends well.

If you are a woman and you’ve read these books, or have watched other movies that appeal to our physical nature, please don’t pretend to tell me that you came out on the other side for the better. You will never be able to convince me that this form of “entertainment” is nothing short of lady-porn that for whatever reason our society allows us to go crazy over.

I’ve read enough of the plot summary on wikipedia to know that, as followers of Jesus, this is something we need to stay away from.

I’m not saying this because I believe movies or books are bad. Ask anyone who knows me and you will quickly find out that I am one of the biggest movie fanatics out there.

I’m not saying this because I’m an over-the-top legalistic jerk that doesn’t believe in extravagant grace and redemption in all areas of life.

I’m saying all of this because I care about how we view intimacy. I care about the thoughts I have towards what sex should be within the covenant of marriage. I care about the marriages of my friends and that they keep their desires (deep desires) for their spouses.

I’m saying this because I care about you, and I deeply believe that you cannot expose yourself to this book/movie (or others like it…I’m talking to you, Tatum) without becoming entangled in sin. And not just sin – but sin that goes deep within oneself. Sin that can take years to work through.

Can Jesus redeem me from sins of the flesh? Absolutely. Not only can He, He has.

But should I continue to spit in His face as I pursue the idols of lust, sex, and selfish desires? Not at all.

I’m not trying to be a prude, or a legalist. I’m also not saying we should have a book burning in the fireplace to rid ourselves of these things. I realize they are part of our culture and that I shouldn’t expect people who don’t love Jesus to understand where I’m coming from.

I’m just trying to love Jesus better. And in my eyes that means staying away from the theatre next weekend.

May our eyes stay fixed on the cross, on Jesus, and may His deep, profound, and divinely intimate love be enough.

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Jan 21 2015
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Relationships

a Ross & Rachel kind of love

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I’ve spent a fair amount of the new year watching “Friends” on Netflix. (PS, THANK YOU Netflix for FiNALLY streaming this beloved series)

The more I watch, the more I fall in love with this show. Super witty, heartfelt at times, and just down right fun.

And also, there’s Ross & Rachel.

Even if you’ve never seen a minute of Friends, if you live in America and are over the age of 12, you’ve heard of Ross & Rachel and know about their frantic, often confusing, on-again-off-again relationship. It’s possibly the most notable storyline of the show. I cried the first time they broke up (last week).

However, as unpopular as these next words will be, I’m not a huge fan of their relationship. I don’t really want a Ross & Rachel kind of love.

They can’t seem to trust each other. They are extremely jealous at times (see: trust). They can be manipulative. I’ll just stop there while I still have some friends of my own left (no pun intended).

Yet, as I think about it, I kind of do have a Ross & Rachel kind of love. I can’t think of a relationship I’ve been in where I have always been 100% trusting, non-jealous, and not manipulative to some degree. But I don’t want that. I want to love in such a way that trust is easy and I don’t have to maneuver my way around to keep the guy.

And the only way this is possible is with Jesus.

Apart from security in Christ, I’m never going to trust someone. Apart from identity in Jesus, I won’t be able to keep myself from manipulating another human.

When I come to fully know the love my Jesus has for me, I can then know how to love another person fully. I can see how unlovable, untrustworthy, and undeserving I am, yet still chosen. I can act out of that great love, because Christ completes me. And chances are I’ll have a love greater than Ross & Rachel.

Now pardon me, I have another episode to watch.

*enjoy this fun little video montage of the lovebirds from the internets here!

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Jan 14 2015
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Contentment

heaven came down

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I’ve had this 1961 song stuck in between my ears all day. Every time my mind has taken a little break from work, these words have popped into my head:

Heaven came down and glory filled my soul (filled my soul), when at the cross the Savior made me whole (made me whole); my sins were washed away and my night was turned to day – heaven came down and glory filled my soul (filled my soul)

I can’t remember the church I grew up in going more than 2 months TOPS without singing that song. And yes, my brain sang the bass parts in the parenthesis as well.

Today I think the significance really hit me.

For the past month or so I’ve found great peace in God coming down to His people. We just finished the Christmas season and celebrated Jesus coming to dwell with and save His people. I’ve been reading in Exodus where God comes to Moses and rescues Israel. I’m reminded of Isaiah when God comes to him in a vision.

Heaven came down.

And then I think of me. I think of how I treat the Almighty as if it’s His privilege to come to me. I act as if I’m in control. I play the part of god while leaving Him in the shadows when I may need Him out of convenience.

BUT. Heaven came down.

And glory filled my soul.

At the cross the Savior made me whole. He made me whole.

It’s so easy to search for wholeness, satisfaction, and love in things other than Jesus. Heck, I even search for it in ‘good’ things – friends, family, coffee. But I never find it. Nothing comes to me, but Jesus. Nothing fills my soul, but Jesus.

Last week I wrote about showing up, and today I’m writing about how God has shown up, and continues to do so, by meeting us where we are, as we are, and loving us for who we are regardless.

My sins were washed away, and praise God, my night was turned to day. Because heaven came down.

*watch this clip of Oprah/Maya giving out presents to the audience…because if we really got God’s love, we might react like this…

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Jan 07 2015
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Friendship, Relationships

to showing up

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I’m a huge Sophia Bush fan. I fell in love with her as Brooke Davis on One Tree Hill, I deeply admire her desire to change the world and people’s lives through her ‘activist’ efforts (she’s involved with Pencils of Promise, I Am That Girl, etc.), and I love her voice. Seriously. I’d just like to have her read a book on tape for me to listen to all the time.

I also follow her on instagram. Truthfully, I follow her on every platform of social media the two of us share. Follow may not be the word. If there were a word for “I wonder what Sophia’s doing today, I’m going to go check all the things,” then that would be the right word.

Recently she’s been posting pictures on Instagram with the hashtag #toshowingup. It’s typically in correlation with something she’s done with her close friends, or an adventure she’s been on recently. And it got me thinking.

Do I show up?
Am I present with people?
Am I available when it’s inconvenient to me?
Do I live life in such a way that makes it worth showing up to?

And as a Christian, what does this mean? Does showing up in Gospel rhythm matter in people’s lives?

I think it means that we rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, bear one another’s burdens, call out sin in people’s lives, allow people to call out sin in our lives, go on big adventures to see God in the unknown places of the world and in our hearts. I think it means just that – we show up. We show up with one another, we show up with ourselves, and most importantly, we show up with God.

We go to God and say, “Here I am, Lord. Forgive me, change me, send me, use me.”

We open our selves up and say, “Today is not about me. Today is about loving God and loving others. Love Him and let Him love you, now go and do likewise.”

We be with others and say, “I’m with you, you aren’t alone, now let’s go have an adventure.”

We show up.

So here’s to that. Here’s to newness, and livelihood, and joy. To showing up.

*Sophia hasn’t been on SNL that I know of, so this hilarious throwback of Tina & Amy as the Bush twins (not related to Sophia) will have to suffice. ALSO, my ladies are hosting the Globes this Sunday so it’s appropriate. And ALSO again, Chicago P.D. makes it’s winter premier tonight so it’s timely that I write about Sophia 🙂 Okay. That’s all for now. I think.

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