Monthly Archives: November 2015

one direction (now a new one)

onedirection-separazione-2

So, my dear friends, it’s been almost 2 years.

TWO. YEARS.

I don’t know that I’ve been committed to anything other than coffee, queso, and softball for longer than 2 years!

Okay, maybe my family and friends. And pie. I’m definitely committed to pie.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way.

I’ve stuck with this whole I’m-a-blogger thing for a long time. It started with realizing I had a voice – specifically a voice as a Christian female who also happens to be single. I realized that I had something to say about the way the Church interacted with “my kind.” (Using that phrase probably goes against everything I’ve said for the past 2 years…whatever…)

I was also struggling with that reality. That I was (am) single. That my life plan hadn’t quite played out the way I thought it would.

So I wrote about it. I wrote about my struggles and my triumphs. My interactions with others who try to navigate life differently than their family/friends/church crew expect them to.

And cool things started to happen. I started to see God show up in my life in ways that I didn’t expect. I began to see Him fill holes I forgot were there, because I was letting Him in.

I’ve been on this metaphorical journey for almost 2 years and I feel like it’s time to go on a new one.

I’ve become “Kayla, the Single Blogger” (I just gave myself that name, by the way…)

I don’t want to be known for singleness, I want to be known for Jesus.

So, here we are. Taking this thing in a new direction.

This doesn’t mean that I’ll never write about singleness again, because that is still part of my reality.

But instead I want to write about Jesus. I want to write about what He is doing in my life, in the lives of my family & friends, and how He is transforming hearts for His name’s sake.

I want to become Christ-like, not Kayla-like. I want Matthew 5:16 to be true of me:

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

I hope you’ll stick around, because I think really cool things are about to start happening again.

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all my GWOC ladies

dancers

I’m 99.9999% sure I wrote this same sentence last year, but my all time favorite weekend of the year (outside of Christmas and my birthday) is FCA’s annual Girls Weekend of Champions. Us ladies get to gather together to sweat, laugh, cry, and learn about Jesus with one another. This year we had 144 (!!!!!!!!) student-athletes from all across the Greater St. Louis area join together for camp. It was, in short, the KEWLEST!

As a staff member for FCA, one of my camp follow up duties is to go over the evaluations that campers fill out (campers: aren’t you glad you didn’t write that Kayla was a big weirdo?)

On overwhelming amount of girls wrote about the impact Christ has had on their lives through the camp. I LOVE, LOVE getting to read those comments. Those notes that say, “I gave my life to Jesus for the first time at this camp,” or, “I had no idea what it looked like to play my sport to the glory of God and now I do!”

They fill my heart.

But, ladies, there’s something we need to follow up on.

You need to know that you do not have to work harder for the sake of Jesus.

So many wrote, “I just need to do better.” or, “I’m going to try harder to be a better Christian.”

I get it. I really do. As an athlete, recovering perfectionist, people-pleaser, etc. I get it.

It doesn’t make sense that we have a God that just asks us to be. To be still and know that HE is GOD. He doesn’t ask us to work really hard so that we can be better. He asks us to know that Jesus paid the price for our sins so that we don’t have to work. If God’s pleasure in my perfection were left up to me…man…I’d be a hot mess!

If there’s one thing I push back against the most, it’s the desire to be better so that God will love me more, accept me more, pour out more blessings upon me.

Hebrews 7 says that Jesus is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him and that He has no need to offer sacrifices daily since He did this once for all when he offered up Himself.

It doesn’t say that God only saves us partially based on Christ’s sacrifice and then the rest is provided by our works.

He doesn’t say that there is a need for longer quiet times, more Bible study groups to be a part of, better coffee to drink during your journaling time (although I do think I’m closer to God depending on how good the bean in my cup is…another time, Kayla…another time…).

Scripture says that Christ saved us to the uttermost once and for all by His sacrifice on the cross.

So, ladies (and gentlemen I guess, if you’re a guy and reading this…), stop trying to work harder for God’s love. Just be with Him for the sake of being with Him.

Know that you are loved and valued beyond comprehension simply because God says so.

Rest in that tonight, this week, this year. And let’s chat about it at Girls Weekend 2016 🙂

*also, check out The Dancers here to prepare for more epic FCA dance parties

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a hard crash/bang

toonces

This past weekend I had the privilege of being with 180 other women at my favorite camp – Girls Weekend of Champions. It’s just a bunch of us ladies hanging out, playing sports, and dancing the days away. AND talking about Jesus and His goodness. I love this camp. I love that I get to see young ladies come to know Christ and grow in their relationship with Him. I love that I get to see God on display through those I serve alongside and I’m continuously amazed that He would choose to use even me for the betterment of His Kingdom. I walked away on Sunday evening feeling on top of the world – knowing that God had done a great and mighty work.

Then Tuesday happened.

Monday was good because I got to sleep past 5:45am.

Tuesday rolled around and I was so tired and beat up, I could barely figure out which hand was the one I was supposed to write with. And I’m not even ambidextrous.

I felt so attacked by the enemy and just had a heavy heart. I was sad about weird things and kept trying to dig myself out of this strange pit.

I think the enemy likes to try to get me like that. I think that after my good days, he likes to remind me that I’m alone, that I really don’t have value, that I’m unlovable, that I’m not worthy.

And I believe him.

After spending a weekend with young ladies reminding them that THEY have value and are loved by the Most High God, I let the father of lies in to my head and believe the crap he tells me.

My heart is so fickle and I’m so easily swayed from the Truth.

Thankfully, I had enough sense to open up God’s Word (let’s be honest, I didn’t feel like it but knew I needed to…I’m not that great of a Christian). What I came to reminded me that God alone speaks Truth over me:

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:5-8)

As my new friend would say, satan can suck it. God alone gets to tell me who I am. He only is my rock – I shall not be shaken. No amount of singleness, marriage, children, or even cheese (my true love) can affect my stance with my Father. I am His and He is mine.

Sometimes we can fall pretty hard, pretty fast, but I’m so thankful for a Good Father that kindly draws me back in and reminds me that He is good always.

*to watch Toonces the Cat drive a car, click here!