Monthly Archives: April 2017

psalm 26

psalm 26

Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.
Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind.
For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.

I do not sit with men of falsehood, nor do I consort with hypocrites.
I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.

I was my hands in innocence and go around your altar, O Lord, proclaiming thanksgiving aloud, and telling all your wondrous deeds.

O Lord, I love the habitation of your house and the place where your glory dwells. Do not sweep my should away with sinners, nor my life with bloodthirsty men, in whose hands are evil devices, and whose right hands are full of bribes.

But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me.
My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the Lord.

When I first sat down to this psalm tonight, I felt like I needed to add, “Yyeeaaahh OPPOSITE DAY!” to the ending.

I read this through one time and felt all of my inadequacies bubble up to the surface. I felt the weight of my sin nullifying the words that David writes. The reality of, “Man, I could never say this about myself!” overpowering the beauty of the Gospel and the even more real reality of redemption.

I read through this again and felt an overwhelming sense of praise and peace flood over me – a recognition that, yeah, I can never ever eevvveerrr say this about myself. But, I can say this about Jesus.

I can look to the One who bore my sin on His body and say, “I do not sit with men of falsehood…I sit in the presence of Jesus, the One they call the Christ, and I proclaim thanksgiving and tell of His wondrous deeds.”

And because of Jesus I truly can say, “O Lord, I love the place where Your glory dwells.” O how I long for those moments of glory – of heaven on earth – of the Spirit of God to be so evident in my life that I can’t ignore His movement any longer! I crave the grace He pours out morning by morning! And from that posture of my heart, I get where David is coming from.

I don’t think David has illusions of being sinless or in no need of mercy – I think he just has a proper view of who his God is, and because of that, he has a proper view of himself.

We can, along with David, boldly proclaim that our feet stand on level ground because Christ has paved the way for us. He has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light, and empowers us to walk in that light.

Praise be to God whose steadfast love is ever before our eyes!!

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psalm 25

psalm 25

I recently read somewhere that one of the great gifts of the psalms are that they are not only the inspired Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17), but that they are also our words to Him. Through the psalms, we can learn how God not only delights in us speaking to Him, but they can guide us in how to do so.

Growing up, talking to God the way some of the psalmist talk to Him would have been SCANDALOUS. Like, Olivia Pope circa season 1 scandy.

But as I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus, I’ve come to long for the types of conversations David had with God. I’ve come to crave the honesty that he has in his voice when speaking with the One that loves him most.

Who would’ve thought that we could ever ask of God, “Let me not be put to shame.”
“Remember Your mercy, O Lord, and Your steadfast love…” (Like God needs a reminder…)
“Pardon my guilt, for it is great.”
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”

Nope. Those aren’t the words I learned to talk to God with.

I learned, “Lord, be with SoNSo cause she’s a big sinner right now and just miserable. And help me get an A on the test I didn’t study for. Oh, and if you can, make that boy like me. And forgive this one sin I committed yesterday. In Jesus name, Amen.”

I’m so thankful that God has opened my eyes to the freedom He allows His children to have – that we can come to Him in moments of great joy and moments of great despair, humbly and honestly approaching His throne of glory. And we can do this because a baby born in Bethlehem lived the life we couldn’t live, died the death we deserve to die because of our sin and rebellion, and rose again on the 3rd day – walking out of a freaking tomb – so that we can be and are redeemed and made righteous before the Most High God.

Because of Jesus, may we approach our Loving Father with words like David, feeling the freedom to bring all of our junk and all of who we are to the One who loves us most:

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; the shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lordteach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lordtherefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O Lordpardon my guilt, for it is great.
Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land.
The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.
My eyes are ever toward the Lordfor he will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.
Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.
Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me.
Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

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cheers to the risk

Cheers to the Risk

“Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”-Brené Brown

This past weekend I had the privilege of retreating with some ladies from my church. The whole premise of the retreat was to sit around a table, eat delicious foods, and tell stories of where we’ve been, where we are, and where we hope to go with Jesus. It was – hands down – my favorite women’s retreat I’ve ever been on.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit over the last few days about spiritual community – thoughts unfortunately spurned on by the great lack that most people seem to have. It seems as if so many of us that follow Jesus are trying to do it alone. Or, at bare minimum, we invite others into our lives to follow Him with one another, but it’s as if we’re walking on opposite sides of the road, unwilling to close the gap and truly journey together. There’s great risk in sharing our lives with people around us, and we’re too scared to take that step. So, instead, we do all the right things – Bible study, small group, women’s events, church clean-up days, dinner with a group of people once a month – we insert ourselves into all the right ‘communities’ thinking that at some point, magic will happen and we’ll be seen and known the way we desire. But here’s the catch – we won’t. We can show up and do all the right things and never get to the point where people know us – really know us.

We’re afraid of the vulnerability and risk it will take to really open our hearts up to others, trusting that the Lord has placed people in our lives to be God-with-flesh-on for us, to fill the intimate space of companionship that we all so desperately crave.

“We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us. We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough – that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing.”-Brené Brown

For me, the space never even came CLOSE to being filled until I came to the end of my do-ing, and let myself just be.

Be seen.
Be known.
Be open.
Be vulnerable.
Be ready for grace.
Be ready for God to show up.

Be present with Jesus and not expect anything but Him.

And then, be present with people – offering our story of where we’ve been with Jesus, where we are with Jesus, and where we hope to go with Jesus.
Opening up our lives, risking the potential rejection, hurt, and isolation that may come with the weight our stories carry.
But the other thing we risk – the beautiful thing that we risk – is actually having someone receive our story.

Because once someone receives it, they are in it with you. They are now a part of your story. And you can’t walk away from that the same person.

It. Will. Change. You.

I think we all wait around for that type of pivotal plot point, eager to step into that sacred space. But few of us are willing to open up our souls, standing naked and unashamed before one another (metaphorically naked, that is. Keep your clothes on if we’re hanging out…)

I guess that’s my point. Take the risk. Raise your glass to the unknown, to that which should scare the pants off of you (but again…keep your pants on). You’re life will be filled to the brim if you do.

“The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.”-Brené Brown

 

(sorry, not sorry for all the Brené Brown quotes. now, go read all her books and have your heart ripped out a little bit – in the best ways.)

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