As one might do on a Wednesday night, I started to go through photos on my phone to delete unnecessary screen shots and memes that have already been shared with my friends. I wasn’t expecting to stumble upon notes from a podcast I listened to in January that brought me to tears:
Side note: if you don’t have a whiteboard somewhere in your living quarters, were you even raised by a coach?!
“God is not eager to dissappoint* me.”
*don’t judge me for my hasty spelling
I have used the word “eager” a lot this week. Merriam-Webster defines the word as: marked by enthusiastic or impatient desire or interest.
I have very impatient interest in a lot of things currently. I am looking forward with great eagerness for moments on the horizon. And what January Kayla reminded April Kayla of tonight is that, in the midst of my anxious eager energy, God’s eagerness for me is way more kind that my eagerness for myself.
He is not eager to disappoint.
Psalm 36:7-9 says, “How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings. You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights. For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.”
God is eager for my good. He has enthusiastic desire to shelter me, care for me, pour out His abundance on me.
Often, in my own self-pity, I can project the belief that God is eager to let me down. Like a playground punk that takes every slide, swing, and climbing wall out from under me.
But that’s just not His character.
His character is that of a loving, kind, generous Father that allows His children to drink deeply from His fountain of life.
So tonight, I’m saying thank you to past-Kayla because she has ministered to present-Kayla’s heart. And I’m going to curl up under the wings of a faithful, loving, kind Shelter who is eager for my good.
Kayla Smith 