Monthly Archives: May 2017

what do i do when i don’t get the blessing?

blessing blog

I’ve been writing this one in my head for a few weeks, so it’s probably time to put it on internet paper.

With graduations and engagements and weddings and new seasons in general, I’ve seen a lot on social media about God being so good because people are so blessed.

I get really excited when people acknowledge that we serve and are known by a good, loving, gracious, merciful God who gives His children good things.
But I get pretty bummed out when we only acknowledge Him along with completing a degree, getting engaged, receiving a promotion, getting pregnant, starting a new relationship, get a new car…insert “good thing” here.

I believe those things are all good things, and again, it is of utmost importance to recognize that good gifts come from our good God. That, ultimately, we don’t earn or deserve what we have – it has all been given for us to steward and use for God’s glory.

But what happens when I don’t get the blessing?
Is God still good?

What happens when:
I fail a class and have to retake it, putting graduation off for another year…
My boyfriend breaks up with me because he’s just not feeling it anymore…
I receive a formal reprimand because of relational friction in the workplace…
I have miscarriage after miscarriage and just don’t understand why my body isn’t cooperating…
Both of my grandmas get cancer at the same time…
Friends that I thought would be by my side forever have now rejected me and I have no idea why…
My car gets totaled in a hail storm…

Is God still good?

Or have we become a people who condition His love for us, and dare I say, our love for Him, along with what He gives us?

Tonight I’m going to the church I grew up in to open up a youth rally with some worship time. I’m going to play a song that has these lyrics:

Though You slay me, yet I will praise You
Though You take from me, I will bless Your name
Though You ruin me, still I will worship
Sing a song to the One who’s all I need

I’m straight up nervous about this one because I know it will rock some worlds.

“Umm…nah…I’m not interested in that God.”
“If God is good, He wouldn’t take from me.”
“But doesn’t God just want us all to be happy and feel good all of the time?”

James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

Do you know what God’s Word says is perfect? God’s love & Jesus’ life.

Jesus is the perfect gift.
Jesus is the good gift.
Jesus is the blessing that none of us deserve but all of us can freely receive.

My blessing isn’t that I receive every material gift I’ve ever wanted and have no hardship in life.

My blessing is that the God of all creation sent His one and only Son to live a life that I cannot live – a life free from sin – die a death that I deserve to die because of my sin and rebellion against His perfection, and raise again on the third day so that I am now made spotless, whole, complete in Him.

I’d rather have that blessing than anything this world has to offer.

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psalm 28

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Have I ever told you how much I love the psalms? How I adore David’s heart and his unabated laying-down of all of his hardships and delight in the Lord?

Often, in my prayers, I am nervous about telling God that He needs to listen to me – that when I cry for help, I need Him to answer me. Making demands of God seems to be risky business to me – and I’m not talking about the Tom Cruise kind.

Yet, I continue to read and read and read David’s pleas and prayers to the Lord. And the more I read them, the more I see that God is 100% okay with me telling Him exactly how I feel. He loves me so greatly – so scandalously – that He actually wants to work through my hurts, hardships, tragedies, and triumphs.

My view of how God sees me continues to become so personal and so delight-filled, yet, at the same time, there is so much more that I don’t know or understand.

I can’t fully understand how the God that created all that we see and know, made man & woman and breathed into them His breath of life – that God wants me to bring my heart to Him and commune in His presence. That God hears my pleas for mercy. That God is my saving refuge.

That God will be my shepherd and carry me forever.

I just can’t wrap my mind around it.
And I’m totally okay with living in that mysterious unknown.

To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit.
Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.

Do not drag me off with the wicked, with the workers of evil, who speak peace with their neighbors while evil is in their hearts. Give to them according to their work and according to the evil of their deeds; give to them according to the work of their hands; render them their due reward.
Because they do not regard the works of the Lord or the works of his hands, he will tear them down and build them up no more.

Blessed be the Lord!
For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed.
Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
Be their shepherd and carry them forever.

 

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psalm 27

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Sometimes you just need a sentence to start a blog, and I can’t think of one right now so I’m writing this.

Glad I got that out of the way.

Life is weird and hard. I think of all that is going on in my life, in the lives of my friends, in the lives of my family, in the lives of my friend’s families, and it’s just hard. Sure, some things are harder than others, but as a whole, life is not easy.

As a follower of Jesus it’s often difficult for me to sit in the hard things, in the unknown, and trust God. Sure, I trust that He has granted me eternal life through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ; however I don’t always trust that He’s got my day-to-day laid out as neatly as I would like for Him to.

As a friend and I recently discussed – sure God, we’re on board with you being in control and having the reins of our lives, but could you just tell us where we’re going? Maybe drop a line with a heads up on which train station we’re about to pull in to?

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And then…I open up tonight’s psalm.
I’m just gonna give you a couple verses, but you can read the whole thing here.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (v1)

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. (v4)

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (v14)

As much as I would love to know where God is taking me in the next 5 months, 5 years, 10 years, etc. – I don’t have to know the details to be confident that He will take care of me. He is my light and salvation. He is my stronghold.

Not marriage.
Not a job.
Not friendships.
Not personal happiness.

He is.

And you know what cures that discontentment? Gazing upon the beauty of the Lord. Oh that my heart’s desire would be Him and Him alone!
I can’t imagine how peaceful my little beating heart would be if the one thing I sought after in this life was to dwell in the house of the Lord. Instead, I waste my time seeking after comfort, approval, momentary satisfaction – all things that can’t sustain.

And then, we get to the end.

The word “strong” here in the original Hebrew means: to fasten upon.

It doesn’t mean physical strength. It’s not telling me to go lift some more at the gym. To get swole for Jesus.

It is telling me to fasten myself to the Lord. To wait for Him while I’m attached to Him.

I don’t know where the next steps of my life will take me. But gosh darn it, I’m going to latch myself like a sloth on a branch to God and just enjoy the ride.

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