Tag Archives: reality

all the feels none of the reals


I’ll be the 4th person to tell you that I’m a bit emotional. If you want confirmation from the first 3, just let me know and I’ll put you in contact.

I have a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me in both good and bad ways. Emotions can make us think we’re completely invisible one day, and the person the earth rotates around the next. They can cause tremendous pride to well up inside while at the same time begin to nurse a smidgen of anxiety that’s just starting to creep its way into the mind.

Emotions can also help us to be grateful, joyful, hopeful, in awe of the world, and loved.

Emotions are funny.

The problem I find myself in on occasion is letting my emotions become my reality. A guy without a ring on his left hand shoots me an eye and precious little smile and I assume we’ll be engaged within a week. Same guy can glance past me as I’m sitting in a corner talking to a friend and I’m extremely aware of how he doesn’t even know I exist. The I sit in those feelings and lose focus of who I am in Christ. I forget that God made me an emotional person for a good purpose – not so I could dwell on a dude’s brief interaction with me.

As a single lady in the church, I think it’s also easy to get really wrapped up in what others have to say about the guys in our lives. It’s easy to listen to people telling me, “Well, you know he’s single and he really loves Jesus so you two will probably end up together,” and then fantasize about what our wedding pictures will look like.

(I should take a moment to mention here that I am highly exaggerating these instances & responses for effect. Don’t think I’m too much of a basket case.)

We need to be careful and aware of our emotions. As cliché as it might sound, we need to know that God has made each of us in unique and beautiful ways. It’s okay for me to be an emotional person, if I’m emotional in a way that moves me towards Christ and understanding who He has made me to be. It’s okay for me to be emotional if I’m becoming more aware of my neighbors & their needs, drawn into service of those around me.

It’s not okay for me to be emotional if I let anxiety, insecurity, fear, and doubt rule my life and become my reality.

Y’all, we can’t let the feels become the reals. Know that who you are in Christ will never change. He has died for you – and all of your emotions – so you can rest secure in knowing that His redemptive reality is the most true thing we can know. Let the words of Paul be your reality. Feel this deeply today:

If anyone is in Christ, (she) is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself…for our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 18, 21)

*Watch Darlique & Barney have some fake fights here! (or are they?!)

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what the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise taught me: part 3



The organization I work for hosts a number of camps every year and each one is basically my favorite.

Except for the one that’s only for boys. It’s not my favorite.

Any who. During camp and post-camp, I often find myself talking to students that have attended or even friends/co-workers that experienced it with me, and saying over and over again: camp life is not real life.

It’s easy to go to camp, surrounded by tons of like-minded people, and get into the groove of life. For 3 days. Then BOOM – back home to a pile of laundry on your bed.

And I’ve come to find the same thing to be true with the Bachelor franchise.

Bachelor life is not real life.

Yet, we somehow treat it like it is.

I talked last week about us idolizing love, and how we are obsessed with finding our “true love.” Which brings me back to real life.

We look at celebrities, at ‘reality’ tv shows, at magazines, Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/Vine/Pinterest/SnapChat/(have I missed anything?) accounts, and think, “YUP, this is it. THIS is what’s real. This is what I need to strive for. That 6 week relationship that ended with a tv engagement…that’s what I’m missing.”

One problem: IT ISN’T REAL!

Sure, the people are real, but the situations aren’t. The problems aren’t. The reality isn’t.

Just this week, on the season finale of Bachelor in Paradise, every couple still left on the show said some version of: “yeah, paradise has been nice, but it’ll be hard entering back into the real world.”

Yet we, as the viewers/consumers, only desire to take in the edited version of a short period of life that is designed for television.

And that’s why it’s so easy to put love, and tv relationships, on a pedestal. We only see the “good stuff” and, if we’re not careful, we come to believe that our lives aren’t truly full. They aren’t good enough. They aren’t exciting.

We come to believe that we’re the ones not living in real life.

Real life is hard. It’s full of heartbreak, disappointment, bad coffee, and stale chips.

BUT. It’s also beautiful because it’s redeemed by a loving God that calls us worthy and beloved.

May we focus on the realness of the Lord today. May we realize that He gives us the realest life imaginable.


*to see Sue get really excited about a friend’s engagement, click here!

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