Tag Archives: Bachelor in Paradise

what the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise taught me: part 3

 

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The organization I work for hosts a number of camps every year and each one is basically my favorite.

Except for the one that’s only for boys. It’s not my favorite.

Any who. During camp and post-camp, I often find myself talking to students that have attended or even friends/co-workers that experienced it with me, and saying over and over again: camp life is not real life.

It’s easy to go to camp, surrounded by tons of like-minded people, and get into the groove of life. For 3 days. Then BOOM – back home to a pile of laundry on your bed.

And I’ve come to find the same thing to be true with the Bachelor franchise.

Bachelor life is not real life.

Yet, we somehow treat it like it is.

I talked last week about us idolizing love, and how we are obsessed with finding our “true love.” Which brings me back to real life.

We look at celebrities, at ‘reality’ tv shows, at magazines, Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/Vine/Pinterest/SnapChat/(have I missed anything?) accounts, and think, “YUP, this is it. THIS is what’s real. This is what I need to strive for. That 6 week relationship that ended with a tv engagement…that’s what I’m missing.”

One problem: IT ISN’T REAL!

Sure, the people are real, but the situations aren’t. The problems aren’t. The reality isn’t.

Just this week, on the season finale of Bachelor in Paradise, every couple still left on the show said some version of: “yeah, paradise has been nice, but it’ll be hard entering back into the real world.”

Yet we, as the viewers/consumers, only desire to take in the edited version of a short period of life that is designed for television.

And that’s why it’s so easy to put love, and tv relationships, on a pedestal. We only see the “good stuff” and, if we’re not careful, we come to believe that our lives aren’t truly full. They aren’t good enough. They aren’t exciting.

We come to believe that we’re the ones not living in real life.

Real life is hard. It’s full of heartbreak, disappointment, bad coffee, and stale chips.

BUT. It’s also beautiful because it’s redeemed by a loving God that calls us worthy and beloved.

May we focus on the realness of the Lord today. May we realize that He gives us the realest life imaginable.

 

*to see Sue get really excited about a friend’s engagement, click here!

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what the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise taught me: Part 2

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I’ve come to the conclusion that we all love love.
We talk about it all the time. We obsess over it. We desire it. We work for it. We feel empty without it.

We have come to idolize love.

While watching Bachelor in Paradise over the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that no one is immune to this idolatry. I mean, that’s even why we watch the show!! We want to stare at a screen for 2 hours once a week and watch as a fairytale love story unfolds before our eyes. The contestants give up their normal lives for weeks upon weeks to go to love boot camp hoping to come out shooting rainbows and confetti (and Lisa Frank unicorns) out of their heart cannons.

We are all obsessed with finding our true love.

What really trips me up about this is that none of us will ever live a love story that isn’t stained by brokenness and hurt. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, 1 sinful person + 1 sinful person does NOT equal perfection.

This past week on Bachelor in Paradise, one contestant that has been on since the beginning (for 6 weeks, I think) finally connected with a guy. She had struggled the first few weeks because she “came to paradise for love” but was striking out. All the dudes were connecting with other women and it seemed as if all hope was lost.

Enter: a new dude! Hooray!

Within a week homie was telling her that he was in love. And it freaked this girl out!

She had (somewhat) gotten what she wanted, and it wasn’t what she expected.*

That’s what idols do to us. They promise fulfilment. They promise satisfaction. They promise that we’ll never want anything more.

And once we get to the idol, once we snatch the holy grail, once we find true love, the rug is pulled out from underneath us and we’re still left broken.

Love is not a bad thing. I think that love gets a bad name (Bon Jovi style) sometimes because we twist and skew it so much that we can’t recognize it anymore.
We can’t recognize the ultimate love of a Savior that has redeemed us and made us new, complete, and without blame.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:9-10)

This love fulfils. This love sustains. This love is whole.

*This is totally my perception of something I’ve watched on tv. I don’t know this woman’s heart, but I do know mine, and that’s how I would’ve felt.

To listen to Garth & Kat’s sweet love songs, click here!

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what the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise has taught me: part 1

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First of all, I included all three of these shows because I watch (or have watched) all of them. I wouldn’t put myself on the “obsessed” level yet, but I’m definitely above “just curious about what’s going on” or “staying culturally relevant.” For example, the first thing I did today when I had some free time after work was catch up on “Bachelor in Paradise” and that’s probably what I’ll do tomorrow because it’s a two-episode week y’all!!

As I was catching up on the show this week, I couldn’t help but feel this uneasy pit in my stomach. I started to feel kinda bad for those involved in the show. I was sad for every single female that ends up in one of those “confessional” moments and says something similar to, “I just want someone to fight for me,” or, “I guess I’m just not good enough.”

Today, those confessions just stopped me in my tracks. I realized lots of things that I’d like to cover in the coming weeks, but we’ll start with this:

Insecurity exists everywhere.

Everywhere.

If there’s one thing I’ve picked up on with the Bachelor franchise, it’s that they really like beautiful people. Every person on every episode is beautiful. And every one of them, at some point or another, doubts themselves. They feel inadequate. They feel as if they are missing something.

It reminds me of the time when Adam and Eve were walking with God in the garden. The Lord had brought them together in perfect harmony and the Bible says that they were “naked and were not ashamed.” Then, they rebelled, went their own way, and did the one thing God told them not to do. The first thing that happens after that bite is that they realized they were naked. And they were ashamed of their nakedness. So ashamed they hid from God.

One of the most compassionate statements in the Bible, in my opionion, is in Genesis 3:11. God asks them, “Who told you that you were naked?”

Who spoke that in to your life? Who told you that you were anything other than beloved?

That’s what I want to ask the contestants on the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise.

Who told you that you were naked? Who told you that you weren’t enough? Who hurt you so deeply that you feel unworthy?

Then I want to tell them about the greatest love of all that can heal all wounds. I want to tell them about Jesus. I want them to feel whole.

We all feel that, don’t we? We all feel inadequate.
We all want to feel whole.
Praise God that Jesus makes us just that. Whole. Complete. Beautiful. Beloved. Wanted. Redeemed.

Enough.

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