I don’t have lover’s quarrels in the middle of a busy Starbucks on a Friday afternoon.
The one that’s currently going on behind me is not pleasant.
Also, I haven’t written anything all summer and I miss it. Be on the look out for new and exciting content SOON!! (It’ll at least be new. I hope it’s exciting.)
Kthanksbye.
First of all, welcome back Cotter…I mean…Kayla. This is a weird early morning Monday edition because I’m on vacation and actually have the time to write.
Secondly, I’m in Arizona and sweating just sitting inside this coffee shop. It’s hot here.
Okay.
I’ve had many conversations lately around the premise of “this will fix that.”
“If I get through this week, then I’ll be on vacation and will finally be able to slow down…”
“If I get this job, then I’ll make more money…”
“If I do this one thing right, then…”
“If I get married, then I’ll be happy…”
“If I get married, then we’ll have 2 incomes and finally be able to afford…”
YOU GET THE PICTURE. (Sorry for screen-yelling at you.)
The problem with all of this is that it never works. All of the above scenarios, and what ever ones you were thinking in your own head, require me to be better, to work harder, to do something that fixes an issue. Yet, behind all of these issues are insecurities, pride, distrust….sin. They miss Christ.
God is continually reminding me that my life is already redeemed. Not only do I not have to work for His goodness, I can’t work for His goodness. He has already given it to me, with no strings attached!
In him (Jesus) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight (Ephesians 1:7-8)
Also, Jesus doesn’t fix me. Jesus heals me. Makes me whole, more human.
Jesus isn’t in the business of fixing people. He’s in the business of making them completely new.
And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of the flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. (Colossians 2:13-14)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
The Bible doesn’t say that Jesus died so that I could be a better person, or live a happier life, or get married. Jesus lived a perfect life, died the death that I deserve, was buried, and rose again on the third day so that I can be redeemed and made alive in Him. That’s it. That’s the point.
Marriage won’t fix me. Jesus doesn’t even fix me. Jesus makes me whole and new. And that is enough.
*get quirk with Bjork, Zooey Deschanel, and Mary Kate Olsen here!
Warning: this blog will not fix your contentment issues.
The following is an actual conversation that actually occurred between actual people. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.
“I think I’m going to get my tragus pierced this weekend.” – Krayla
“Isn’t that kinda dangerous? Just go skydiving instead.” – Whitley
“….I think I’m just bored…” – Krayla
“Mmmhhmmm…contentment.” – Whitley
Fine, I’ll confess. Krayla is really Kayla. It’s me. I was the one that wanted (wants) to get my ear pierced again. And I really think it is because I’m bored. I think it’ll look cool and people will think I’m pretty hardcore.
But really, deep down, I truly do have a contentment issue. My friend is right – I’m not content with my life so I want to change it. I talk about tattoos, or piercings, or a new coat/shoes, a different (insert thing here).
I often think I’m just stuck in a rut of some sorts, so I need to do something exciting to amp up my life. I miss contentment in Christ and work to fill it with new, shinier things.
And, quite honestly, I think the church (at large) has done a poor job at helping singles (men & women) figure out what contentment in Christ really looks like.
Side note: I also think contentment in Christ is an issue that married people struggle with as well, but since I’m not married I cannot speak to that.
I often find myself living this life of singleness, treating it as if it is only a season. I want to pass through it as quickly as possible and get the golden goose egg of marriage delivered on my front door PRONTO!
I become discontent with my life – thinking that God is holding out on me, or doesn’t really want me to experience true joy – because I still file my taxes under a single status.
I misplace my joy in guys, and am never satisfied. I rely on my relationship status for contentment, and am always left disappointed. I lean in hard to the perception that marriage will ultimately fulfill me and give me worth, and when that wall crumbles I’m left face first on the ground.
And I say the church at large has done a poor job in helping me (and others) figure this sin issue out because that’s the realm we play in to. We place marriage on this really high pedestal and leave those of us that can’t climb up that high out. When couples have babies, we promote them to sainthood – especially if they make the ‘right’ choices regarding feeding & waste disposal.
What we don’t do a good job at is teaching and encouraging one another to rely on Jesus regardless of season or status. We don’t do a good job at listening to Paul and trust that we too can experience this truth deeply when he says, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11)
I don’t have any answers, or really any good input when it comes to living a content life. I’ve obviously got a lot to learn in this area. But I do have a challenge: I’m going to stop referring to my singleness as a season to just pass through, I’m going to stop relying on the next best thing to satisfy me, and I’m going to continue to run, hard, to Jesus when I starting thinking about getting my ear pierced again.
But maybe I will get my ear pierced. Who knows.
**watch Sue get really amped up here**
Kind of a weird title for a blog that is being published at the beginning of May instead of December, right?
That was the best line I could come up with for the intro. First words are usually the hardest.
Now that we’ve broken the ice I can get to it.
Ebenezer’s have been popping up a lot in my life lately. Which is actually a fairly accurate statement because an Ebenezer is a stone that was raised by Samuel to commemorate victory over the Philistine army. It is a place of remembrance. History AND relevance! #FTW!
I’ve been trying to remember God more intentionally, which sounds like a pretty strange concept, but stick with me.
In the book “Cupid is a Procrastinator” (yes, there is a book by that title and yes, I am reading it. It’s really good so talk to me about it before you judge me OR the book), the author writes:
Samuel set up a stone memorial in that place and said, “Thus far, the Lord has helped us” (1 Samuel 7:12). He set it up as a way to pause and say, “God, we have been through a lot, but you have always been faithful. You have helped us before, and you will keep on helping us. Thank you for what you’ve done so far, and thank you for what you will keep on doing.”
It is easy for me to forget about God’s faithfulness and steadfast love that He has shown over and over in my life. A couple of weeks ago I had a major breakdown in my friend’s kitchen because I was convinced that nothing good would ever happen in my life – that I was in ultimate emotional despair.
Have I ever mentioned that I can be a bit dramatic?
I was convinced of that because I forgot God. I forgot about His promise to me to pour out joy, peace, love, kindness, redemption, grace, mercy, etc. continuously.
I forgot that He has shown up in my darkest places before. That He saw me at my weakest and drew me into Himself to comfort and rescue me.
I forgot that God is for me – that he leads and guides me for His name’s sake (Psalm 31:3).
I forgot that my value and worth are directly affected by me being an image bearer of God – that nothing can take that from me, and nothing can shake that truth.
So, I want to remember God. I want to be intentional about reminding myself of His promises in Scripture, of His provision in relationships, and I deeply want to remind myself of moments in my life where He has clearly helped me, just as He did with Samuel & the Israelites.
I want to be a walking Ebenezer – remembering always the goodness of God and His ever-helping grace.
How has God worked in your life & how do you remember His faithfulness to you?
(just me waving ‘Hi’ from a corn field. photo creds to the ever-lovely H Mae.)
I’ve been reading through the book of Exodus lately. It’s taking me a while to get through the book, but in a weird way, I’m glad I wasn’t so disciplined and rigid about getting through it in a specific time frame. (Read: I just didn’t read it as regularly as a good Christian would have…) [also, please note sarcasm when you read “good Christian would have…”] {okay, I think I’m done with parentheses/brackets now}
Also, I just saw a motorcyclist drive past Starbucks with a GoPro on his helmet. $3 says he pulls some street trix tonight.
I get distracted easily.
Back to Exodus.
So, I’m reading through and early on in the book I’m just totally blow away by God showing up with His people. I can consistently see Yahweh coming to His people, actively working to redeem them. And I was always like, “YES! I KNOW this God! I see and feel His active redemption in my life too!”
Then I get to the part(s) of the book where the people of Israel decide it’s a good idea to open their mouths. And grumble. And question God. And sorta roll their eyes at Him and complain about dumb stuff.
Specifically in chapter 15 they are complaining about some bitter water. I can sense some smart mouth (probably named Kayla) saying, “Well, what are we gonna do now? What are we supposed to drink?!”
I read that and immediately wrote down, “The people of Israel didn’t give God time to work. They immediately began grumbling.”
Then again, in chapter 17, the issue of water comes up again! Geez Israel, stop being so thirsty!!
Anyways, they move from the wilderness and “there was no water for the people to drink.” They go before Moses and complain, again, and he goes before the Lord on their behalf, again, and God (I imagine) gives Moses a slight eyebrow raise and says, “Watch this…”
God literally tells Moses to hit this random rock with his staff & water will pour out of it. And it does. Water flows from a ROCK. Because, God.
What gets me about this passage though, is what comes in verse 7:
He called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the quarreling of the people of Israel, and because they tested the Lord by saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?”
Here’s what Kayla’s scribblings say about this: It’s so funny/amusing to me when Israel doubts God’s presence or goodness during their time of physical need – YET, I am just like that. If I want/desire something physical, material, and God doesn’t give it to me in my time frame, I ask with Israel, “Is the Lord among us or not?”
Hi, I’m Kayla, and I am just like ancient Israel.
Israel experienced the plagues in Egypt, walked THROUGH THE RED SEA on DRY GROUND, was led through the wilderness by a pillar of fire and a cloud of smoke…AND THEY STILL QUESTIONED GOD’S GOODNESS.
Kayla has experienced God’s faithfulness in her life in MULTIPLE ways, YET STILL DOUBTS GOD’S GOODNESS!
It is easy to forget how truly good God is when things aren’t going our way – in relationships, jobs, friendships, financially, *insert scenario here*.
I’m not going to pretend like I never get ticked with God. In fact, He and I had a really long conversation last weekend about how mad I was at Him. But you know what? He is still good. He still lovingly draws me in and says, “I know. I know it’s hard for you right now. I know your heart hurts. But just wait until the morning. Wait until you can see what I see.”
I’m holding on to that right now. I may be frustrated. I may be hurt. But I’m holding on to a God who sees the promised land before I do and knows that I will get there in due time.
Kayla Smith 