Tag Archives: Jesus

Mar 11 2015
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fruit snack faith

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I know I’ve talked about my friends quite a bit on here before, but I’m going to talk about them again. Well, really just one because she’s the one that inspired tonight’s post.

About a week ago (8 days to be exact), my dear friend posted this on Instagram:

I had one of those days where things just kept going wrong. I couldn’t help but have a really sinful thought, “I have very little to be thankful for. God you haven’t blessed me lately.”

And I nodded along, “Ditto, sister. Ditto.”

It was just one of those weeks. Every woe-is-me emotion was making its way to the surface of my life and I just wanted to have a good cry. I’ve had this thought run through my mind more than once over the past year: “What do I have to do to get You to show You care about me?!”

Sinful, I know.

Honest? Yup. Very.

It’s easy for me to try to work my way towards blessings. I want to be the good little athlete I’ve always been and earn my spot. I was to prove that I’m worth it.

I can’t accept grace, mercy, justice, divine love at face value. I find it hard to believe that God is good just because.

And then I start feeling bad about feeling bad

“Why are you complaining, Smith? You ARE blessed. You have a home to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear, a family & friends that love you. Stop it!”

The pendulum then swings towards self-reliance and not wanting to ‘burden’ God with my needs. I cheapen His love & grace by thinking that my needs aren’t worth His time.

Both of these attitudes are sinful. Both say God isn’t good, enough, just, holy. Both say that my way is better and I can just do this life alone.

But then my friend finished her post:

A little later I opened my variety pack fruit snack and found 3 raspberries. It’s my favorite flavor and you’re lucky if you get 1. (Yesterday I got none.) BUT today I found 3 waiting for me. Sounds so silly, but I was so humbled. Even if it is just about my fruit snack, I have so much to be thankful for. We have a Savior who already won the battle. #fruitsnackfaith #choosejoy #Heisalwaysgood

(Sorry, not sorry that I left the hashtags in there.)

God does bless us in the most mundane ways.

God does care about our simple & small desires.

He knows us so intimately, and wants us to know His love so greatly, that He gives us our favorite fruit snacks at just the right moment.

It can be easy to look past God’s goodness in the everyday life moments, and it can be just as easy to think He doesn’t care about something as small as me wanting queso for dinner.

Know that He does care. He does love extravagantly. He knows our hearts so well that He’s giving us just what we desire and need, exactly when we need it.

Take heart, precious one. He has won the battle & holds your heart.

*and yes, in case you were wondering, that IS the original fruit snack picture that inspired this whole thing!

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Mar 04 2015
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Relationships

what Hilary Duff got wrong

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Yesterday everyone’s favorite Disney channel blonde, Lizzie McGuire herself, had an interview in Cosmopolitan hit the internet newsstand. Maybe it hit the actual newsstands, but I haven’t walked by one since August of 2010 so I just can’t speak to that.

ANYWAYZ. If you haven’t heard, Hilary Duff has filed for divorce from her hockey playing husband and in her Cosmo interview she speaks to their relationship:

“We spent the majority of our time together really happy. It wasn’t working well enough to stay together, but there was still a lot of love involved. It was just a slow set-in of us not being the match that we used to be.” (from cosmopolitan.com. link to original article here)

While I appreciate her not using this high profile interview to bash her significant other, I find it hard to agree with her reasoning. I get really bummed out when people pull the “We just don’t work well together anymore” card. Loving my sister can be hard, but I don’t stop being her sister because she makes me pay for Mexican food and never gives me $4 back.

Life is difficult when people are involved, but that doesn’t mean we bow out as soon as the water starts to rise and things are looking like there’s no way out.

I should say, I don’t know if Hilary is a follower of Jesus or not. If she isn’t, then the only ground she really has to stand on are her own feelings.

BUT.

If you love Jesus and He is the Lord of your life, then you don’t get to throw the card that Hilary threw. You don’t get to say, “we just don’t match anymore.”

Too often, even as Christians, when things get hard in life we decide to just leave it behind. We move on to the next person, ministry opportunity, friend, coffee shop, *insert thing here* because we don’t want to push through the tough stuff.

My church is currently going through the book of Ruth and discovering hesed love. Hesed love is steadfast, rock-solid faithfulness. In the book of Ruth, when everything in Naomi, Ruth, & Orpah’s life is gone, it is hesed love that allows Ruth to cling to her mother-in-law and pledge to follow her wherever she may go.

It is hesed love that says, “No matter how hard things get, no matter what feelings may bubble up inside of me, I will cling to the covenant between us and stay. I won’t go anywhere. My feelings won’t sway the commitment I have made to you.”

It is an action that lays down one’s own life for the sake of the other.

It is Jesus dying on a cross and raising again to save and redeem us of our sins, allowing us to stand righteous before God the Father.

Because of this love, we don’t get to bow out when it gets hard. Instead, we get to rely on God to fill us with covenantal, hesed love that transcends our understanding. We get to know that we are called to live above our feelings and to remain in steadfast commitment to those we love.

I highly encourage you to listen to the sermon series on Ruth and continue to follow along with us as we take this journey of love. And I highly encourage you push back against cultural norms that say our feelings are what matter most.

Hilary got this one wrong, and I really don’t want you to do the same.

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Feb 18 2015
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Relationships

the tricky monster that will make or break us

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Tonight I’d like to take a slight right turn off of Singles Lane and spend some time driving down Relationship Ave.

(That’s code for tonight isn’t just about dating…it’s about all sorts of relationships with all sorts of people.)

I think there’s a really powerful monster that we all carry around in our back pockets on a daily basis. We can use it to deepen relationships, it can drive us to building really thick walls around our hearts, and – I believe – we can subtly use it to manipulate people to get what we want.

I’m talking about vulnerability.

Manipulation Station:

At one time in my life I had a ‘friend’ who asked me to coffee to try to get to know me better. This person was very sweet in their meaning, but once we got in to conversation they started getting a little more vulnerable with me (to a point) then pushed until I opened up with them. Looking back, they were totally in control of the conversation. They would open up and share some “dark” part of their story with the hopes that I would share something revealing about mine. And me, in my people pleasing ways, totally played in to it. I felt that the only way to get this person to either – 1) like me, or 2) leave me alone – was to spill some of the most private parts of my life.

I left that coffee shop feeling very uneasy and used.

Looking back, I truly feel as if I was manipulated into sharing things about myself I just wasn’t ready to share.

And if I think back hard enough, chances are I’ve done that with others. I’ve used fake vulnerability – or controlled confession – to get information from people with the motive of simply having that information.

Vulnerability shouldn’t be a tool used to get some news to gossip about. It’s much too precious to use in that way.

Brick Wall:

When being vulnerable leads to us being burned, the next natural phase is to build up some pretty thick walls in order to “guard our hearts”…or simply keep others out. Just like being manipulated, I think others can abuse our vulnerability with them causing us to distrust all people. If someone burns me, it just adds to my original assumption that I can’t open up to people in general.

In relationships this can cause a HUGE issue. If I’m not willing to take down my wall – even if it’s brick by brick – then I will get NO.WHERE. fast. I cannot grow in friendship, dating relationship, sibling-hood (is that a thing?), as a family member…basically, I can’t grow if all I’m ever doing is adding to the wall around my heart, keeping me from being vulnerable.

Vulnerability – or being burned by it – shouldn’t be an excuse to keep others out. It’s much too precious to use that way.

Deep Waters:

“Connection is why we’re here. It gives purpose and meaning to our lives. (And) in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. Really seen.” – Brené Brown

Brené isn’t a follower of Jesus. But I wholeheartedly agree with her.

Vulnerability, at it’s simplest definition, is allowing ourselves to be really seen. Deep connection occurs when we allow people to really see us. When we are truly vulnerable in the purest way.

Personally, outside of connection with Jesus, I’ve had this happen with a handful of people in my life.

And in those instances, when I have allowed myself to be really seen, it has transformed my relationships. It has opened my eyes to how life with others should work. It has challenged me to be a better sister, daughter, friend…person.

And allowing, above all, Jesus to really see me has made me more complete. It has healed the deepest parts of my soul. It has started to chip away at the bricks I’ve piled up around my heart. It has allowed greater love to well up inside me for others.

It has made me more human.

You have kept count of my tossing; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? (Psalm 56:8)

I love this verse. I love that God sees us. Really sees us. And we can trust Him with our vulnerability. We can let Him in and become more of our true selves.

And in turn, we can be more of our true selves with others and honestly connect. And maybe, just maybe, show Jesus to those around us by the way we love and connect with each other.

Take a few minutes to watch Brené Brown’s TED talk. Again, she isn’t a follower of Jesus, but what she says here is AWESOME!

Also, if you like what you read, would you share with someone you think might also like it?! Gracias.

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Feb 11 2015
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Identity

all the feels none of the reals

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I’ll be the 4th person to tell you that I’m a bit emotional. If you want confirmation from the first 3, just let me know and I’ll put you in contact.

I have a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me in both good and bad ways. Emotions can make us think we’re completely invisible one day, and the person the earth rotates around the next. They can cause tremendous pride to well up inside while at the same time begin to nurse a smidgen of anxiety that’s just starting to creep its way into the mind.

Emotions can also help us to be grateful, joyful, hopeful, in awe of the world, and loved.

Emotions are funny.

The problem I find myself in on occasion is letting my emotions become my reality. A guy without a ring on his left hand shoots me an eye and precious little smile and I assume we’ll be engaged within a week. Same guy can glance past me as I’m sitting in a corner talking to a friend and I’m extremely aware of how he doesn’t even know I exist. The I sit in those feelings and lose focus of who I am in Christ. I forget that God made me an emotional person for a good purpose – not so I could dwell on a dude’s brief interaction with me.

As a single lady in the church, I think it’s also easy to get really wrapped up in what others have to say about the guys in our lives. It’s easy to listen to people telling me, “Well, you know he’s single and he really loves Jesus so you two will probably end up together,” and then fantasize about what our wedding pictures will look like.

(I should take a moment to mention here that I am highly exaggerating these instances & responses for effect. Don’t think I’m too much of a basket case.)

We need to be careful and aware of our emotions. As cliché as it might sound, we need to know that God has made each of us in unique and beautiful ways. It’s okay for me to be an emotional person, if I’m emotional in a way that moves me towards Christ and understanding who He has made me to be. It’s okay for me to be emotional if I’m becoming more aware of my neighbors & their needs, drawn into service of those around me.

It’s not okay for me to be emotional if I let anxiety, insecurity, fear, and doubt rule my life and become my reality.

Y’all, we can’t let the feels become the reals. Know that who you are in Christ will never change. He has died for you – and all of your emotions – so you can rest secure in knowing that His redemptive reality is the most true thing we can know. Let the words of Paul be your reality. Feel this deeply today:

If anyone is in Christ, (she) is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself…for our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 18, 21)

*Watch Darlique & Barney have some fake fights here! (or are they?!)

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Feb 04 2015
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Relationships

50 shades of no thank you

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I’m not totally sure if you’re aware of a certain movie that is coming out on a certain weekend fairly soon, but if you haven’t heard of it (or you don’t understand what I’m alluding to) then you probably don’t watch much television or listen to people talk. Maybe I’m the only eavesdropper in the crowd. I don’t know.

ANYWAYS, I will not be watching that movie. Nor will I be reading the book. (is there more than 1? Don’t know, don’t care).

And here’s why:

It paints an unhealthy picture of what sex is and sets us women up for emotional attachment to an object/ideal that will never satisfy and will ultimately leave us more empty than we could probably imagine.

Take this from someone who has struggled with romanticizing and fantasizing about love, life, intimacy, etc.

It never ends well.

If you are a woman and you’ve read these books, or have watched other movies that appeal to our physical nature, please don’t pretend to tell me that you came out on the other side for the better. You will never be able to convince me that this form of “entertainment” is nothing short of lady-porn that for whatever reason our society allows us to go crazy over.

I’ve read enough of the plot summary on wikipedia to know that, as followers of Jesus, this is something we need to stay away from.

I’m not saying this because I believe movies or books are bad. Ask anyone who knows me and you will quickly find out that I am one of the biggest movie fanatics out there.

I’m not saying this because I’m an over-the-top legalistic jerk that doesn’t believe in extravagant grace and redemption in all areas of life.

I’m saying all of this because I care about how we view intimacy. I care about the thoughts I have towards what sex should be within the covenant of marriage. I care about the marriages of my friends and that they keep their desires (deep desires) for their spouses.

I’m saying this because I care about you, and I deeply believe that you cannot expose yourself to this book/movie (or others like it…I’m talking to you, Tatum) without becoming entangled in sin. And not just sin – but sin that goes deep within oneself. Sin that can take years to work through.

Can Jesus redeem me from sins of the flesh? Absolutely. Not only can He, He has.

But should I continue to spit in His face as I pursue the idols of lust, sex, and selfish desires? Not at all.

I’m not trying to be a prude, or a legalist. I’m also not saying we should have a book burning in the fireplace to rid ourselves of these things. I realize they are part of our culture and that I shouldn’t expect people who don’t love Jesus to understand where I’m coming from.

I’m just trying to love Jesus better. And in my eyes that means staying away from the theatre next weekend.

May our eyes stay fixed on the cross, on Jesus, and may His deep, profound, and divinely intimate love be enough.

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