what Hilary Duff got wrong

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Yesterday everyone’s favorite Disney channel blonde, Lizzie McGuire herself, had an interview in Cosmopolitan hit the internet newsstand. Maybe it hit the actual newsstands, but I haven’t walked by one since August of 2010 so I just can’t speak to that.

ANYWAYZ. If you haven’t heard, Hilary Duff has filed for divorce from her hockey playing husband and in her Cosmo interview she speaks to their relationship:

“We spent the majority of our time together really happy. It wasn’t working well enough to stay together, but there was still a lot of love involved. It was just a slow set-in of us not being the match that we used to be.” (from cosmopolitan.com. link to original article here)

While I appreciate her not using this high profile interview to bash her significant other, I find it hard to agree with her reasoning. I get really bummed out when people pull the “We just don’t work well together anymore” card. Loving my sister can be hardbut I don’t stop being her sister because she makes me pay for Mexican food and never gives me $4 back.

Life is difficult when people are involved, but that doesn’t mean we bow out as soon as the water starts to rise and things are looking like there’s no way out.

I should say, I don’t know if Hilary is a follower of Jesus or not. If she isn’t, then the only ground she really has to stand on are her own feelings.

BUT.

If you love Jesus and He is the Lord of your life, then you don’t get to throw the card that Hilary threw. You don’t get to say, “we just don’t match anymore.”

Too often, even as Christians, when things get hard in life we decide to just leave it behind. We move on to the next person, ministry opportunity, friend, coffee shop, *insert thing here* because we don’t want to push through the tough stuff.

My church is currently going through the book of Ruth and discovering hesed love. Hesed love is steadfast, rock-solid faithfulness. In the book of Ruth, when everything in Naomi, Ruth, & Orpah’s life is gone, it is hesed love that allows Ruth to cling to her mother-in-law and pledge to follow her wherever she may go.

It is hesed love that says, “No matter how hard things get, no matter what feelings may bubble up inside of me, I will cling to the covenant between us and stay. I won’t go anywhere. My feelings won’t sway the commitment I have made to you.”

It is an action that lays down one’s own life for the sake of the other.

It is Jesus dying on a cross and raising again to save and redeem us of our sins, allowing us to stand righteous before God the Father.

Because of this love, we don’t get to bow out when it gets hard. Instead, we get to rely on God to fill us with covenantal, hesed love that transcends our understanding. We get to know that we are called to live above our feelings and to remain in steadfast commitment to those we love.

highly encourage you to listen to the sermon series on Ruth and continue to follow along with us as we take this journey of love. And I highly encourage you push back against cultural norms that say our feelings are what matter most.

Hilary got this one wrong, and I really don’t want you to do the same.

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