Tag Archives: Christian

Using God to get the Guy

This is a story of how I used God to get the guy. Or at least, how I kept telling myself I was doing certain things to grow in my relationship with Christ, but really I was just doing things that were spiritual to get a guy’s attention.

And also how it’s not that great of an idea to do such things.

I am not a morning person. When I was in high school, during the summertime especially, my mom would get mad at me because I would sleep until noon. That’s how much I don’t like mornings…I didn’t even want to be awake during them.

However, you throw a guy I like in to the mix, I wake up before the alarm goes off. Every time.

A few years ago this guy I liked was in a Bible study that met at 6am once a week, so it became my mission to really grow in my faith by attending this Bible study. And when I say “grow in my faith” I really mean, “get up super early, look as put together as possible, go to this Bible study for a hour so homeboy sees me really loving Jesus, drink as much coffee as possible to be as alert as possible for the time we’re all together, then go back to my dorm and go back to sleep before class starts 3 hours later.”

Not only would I go to this study, I would basically do anything “spiritual” that I could to get on his holy radar: tweet Bible verses, join other studies and make sure I plastered it all over social media, get in to deep conversations to show how in tune with the Spirit I was.

I may not be the greatest person.

But that’s how my mind worked. I thought that if I put myself out there and flaunted my faith in front of this guy, he would fall for me and we would live happily ever after.

Que the game show sound effects: “WWWHHAAAWWAAAAAA”

My master plan didn’t work quite like I thought it would. My heart became more invested in this man than it did in Christ during that season.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the only one that works like this. I think we can use our relationship with God to try to manipulate our way in to lots of things: friendships, relationships, certain social groups. And maybe it’s not even an overt thing…maybe we don’t even recognize that we are pursuing other things through God.

The point of sharing this short story of The Life & Times of Kayla Smith (more commonly known as the blockbuster hit, “Frozen”**) , is that we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.

The point of going to God is to get God. The point of following Jesus is not so I can have all these other things added to my life.

This concept has been talked about a lot in the Christian circles lately in other blogs, books, podcasts, etc., but I still need it to be beaten in to my head constantly.

I can’t live my life using God to get other things. I need to live my life just going to God for the sake of God. That’s it.

A verse I shared last week is applicable again tonight: “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.”-Psalm 73: 25

This is my prayer this week for us all, that our eyes would not be focused on all the “extras” but on God alone.

**kidding about the “Frozen” thing…but wouldn’t that be AWESOME?!

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I Sometimes Think I’m Better Than You

One of my favorite psalms to read when I’m feeling particularly self-righteous is Psalm 73. In this psalm, the author Asaph writes of his envy of the people around him, and that is something that I can relate to.

I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. (verse 3)
Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches. (verse 12)
All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. (verse 13)

Multiple times in my life I have thought like this. I look at those around me and think, “seriously?! They got the promotion? They got married, to THAT person?! They’re___________(fill in the blank of whatever I’m not at the moment)?!”

I’m so caught up in my selfishness that I miss the whole point. I miss that my life isn’t about me. I miss that I’m not staring in the lead role in this movie of life. I miss that God is the Creator and I am the creation.

I say to myself, “Pocahontas, you are such a good person, you follow all the rules, you check most things off of your to-do list daily, why do you not have what everyone else has? You’re a wwwaaayyy better person than most, so why do they leave the party with all the goodie bags?!”

Asaph recognizes that he be actin a fool himself. He continues on in the psalm:

But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. (verses 16-18)
Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterword you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever…But for me it is good to be near God; I have made The Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works. (verses 23-26, 28)

I am not the point of my life, Jesus is. My flesh and my heart will fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I sometimes think I’m better than you and it frustrates me. I get mad about the fact that I don’t have what others do.

But then God gently draws me up onto His lap and reminds me that I have Him, that it is good for me to be near Him. That I’m not better than anyone, yet He still loves me. And He loves you too, because that’s the kind of God He is.

And that is the greatest possession of all.

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What Match.com Taught Me: Part 2

Part 2 in my online dating lessons: Labels do not equal Lifestyle.

I like to think of myself as a woman with standards. One of the filters I set up on my match.com search to aid in meeting those standards was that a man had to identify himself as “Christian-Protestant,” “Christian-Catholic,” or “Christian-Other.”

On any given day I could click the search button and scroll through more than 200 guys within a 50 mile radius that labeled themselves as one of the above. Talk about getting my hopes up!

The problem came when I would click on the camo-clad profile picture and actually read what the self-labeled Christian wrote. Over and over again I would read through profiles of guys that when given the chance to give more details about their faith would leave sections blank and never mention a relationship with Christ. It became ever so clear to me that so many in our culture claim Christianity but have no idea what it means to be a follower of Christ.

Now. Let me finish. I can hear some people now, “Well Kayla, you don’t have to beat the Bible through someone’s computer screen to prove you’re a Christian. Why should it matter if you write out the entire 119th Psalm in your profile or not?!”
To which I respond, “You’re right. You don’t have to give me your entire faith story on a screen, bbbuuuutttttttt it would be nice if you would at least let me know that your faith means something to you. Even if we end up not agreeing with each other.”

It’s not enough to label yourself as something. Back your stuff up. Live it out. Make others believe you are what you say you are.

If I told you I am a basketball player, but I can’t dribble a ball, then I’m most likely not a basketball player.

If I told you I am a volleyball player, you would be able to tell in .07 seconds that I’m not. Mainly because I kinda punch the ball whenever I try to serve it. My bad.

If I tell you I’m a Christian, I need to have some ground to stand on. You should know how important my faith is to me. My lifestyle should reflect my label, but my label does not automatically qualify my lifestyle.

Had even half of those profiles mentioned something along the lines of, “I know Jesus. Hope you do too!” we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation.

I’m worried that we’ve come to a point where just labeling our faith is enough. My challenge this week is to examine areas in our lives where we are satisfied with just a label being projected as a lifestyle. Once we find them, let’s change them. Let’s let our lifestyles dictate our labels. And let’s make sure they’re leading us towards Christ.

*note: editing contributions made by H Mae Wright. She’s da bomb.

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