Tag Archives: Christ

the 1-upper

Misery loves company.

In my experience, misery loves being the most miserable too.

If I could pick one question or topic that makes me giggle the most it is probably that singleness is “hard.” People will say things like, “being single must be so hard for you!” Or, “I can’t imagine being a single person today. You’re so strong.” Or, “how do you manage?!”


A couple things here: 1) Being single is not hard. It may be annoying or inconvenient when I don’t want to go grocery shopping, but it isn’t hard. Hard is battling cancer, dealing with unemployment, or having your husband get hit by a car and break an ankle within a year of each other. 2) I usually give in to the question and make my life seem as difficult to the outsider as possible.

Remember when I said misery loves being the most miserable? When people ask about how difficult a certain season in life may be, I sometimes tend to play into the misery. I try to 1-up the miserableness.
“Man, singleness must be so difficult.”
“Oh, it is, plus, I can’t have a cat in my apartment.”
“Dang! Well, we can’t have cats either because of allergies.”
“Oh, you have allergies? Well I have chronic bronchitis and can’t breathe for an entire month out of every year, and I’m not married, so…”*

See where I’m going?

There have even been times when I’ve completely flipped the conversation to be all about me and my un-married life. A friend may be talking about how hard ministry is for her and I’ll chime in with, “yeah, I hear you. By the way, did I mention I’m still not dating?”

I think some of us (myself included when I don’t check myself…) want to be the most miserable. We want people to pity us. We want to play up our issues like our problems are way bigger than they are.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow discontentment to be the focus of our lives rather than rejoicing in what God has done and continues to do?

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t recognize or mourn hardships in our life. There is a time for that. But, as Paul writes in the verse above, we shouldn’t think or dwell on these things. We should rejoice in the truth that the Creator of all has made us new creatures, redeemed and brought back in to right relationship with Him.

Being single can sometimes be hard, especially when I make it my ultimate hope. Being single can be tough when everyone around you is getting married and having babies. Being single isn’t hard when I look to Jesus and think about the fact that He washed away my sins.

My challenge is that I’ll quit being the 1-upper. That I’ll let the Holy Spirit invade my life in such a way that others will see that my life is full of joy because of Him.

*side note: these are hypothetical conversations, but if I have actually had them with you, I’m sorry.

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Me & My T-Shirts

An unintentional theme of the past couple of weeks has been about value, self worth, and identity. Probably because I struggle in those areas and need the Gospel to transform my mind on those issues moment by moment…so why not write about it?!

Those of us that struggle with seeing ourselves through the eyes of Jesus often have things we’d like to change about ourselves. We think brunette is not a pretty as blonde, so we dye our hair. We think we’re too shy, so we seek out how to be more outgoing. We think we’re too loud, so we quiet ourselves. We think we’re overweight, so we obsessively work out and monitor our diet.

Or in my case, I think I have too many t-shirts.

Let me back up a few years.

When I was a freshman in college someone very dear to me made a random comment about my wardrobe. They said, “If you ever want to meet someone (to marry), you really should stop wearing t-shirts.”


Mind you, I’m pretty sure I’ve been wearing a t-shirt since I was in utero.

Something as simple as a statement about my wardrobe made me question my value, my identity, and my future. I began to think (and have thought this since) that no man would ever want a lady that would rather play catch, or hunt, or go camping than do more typical “womanly” things (whatever that may be…). I began to believe the lie that God had made a mistake. That he had given me desires that no man would find desirable.

Praise Jesus that my identity doesn’t change with my wardrobe!!

The Good News that I cling to as a follower of Jesus is that my identity is not dependent upon what I do. It all hangs on this truth: that Jesus came to earth and lived the perfect life, went to Calvary out of His love for me, died a brutal death to pay the penalty for my sins, rose again on the third day, and has entered into heaven itself to appear in the presence of God on my behalf.

This is what life is about. Not my personal satisfaction or temporary pleasures. Not my hair color or my weight. Not even about how many t-shirts I have.

Life is about glorifying God in everything I do because He has redeemed me and set my identity in stone. My value does not change because God does not change.

God has made each of His children unique for a reason. He has given me the desire to wear gym shorts and t-shirts as often as possible because someone has to keep sports stores in business! It doesn’t devalue me or make me less desireable, even when I may think it does.

Chances pretty good that this is a lesson I’ll need to keep learning, but praise God He’s okay with teaching me for the rest of my life.

*but really, I do have a lot of t-shirts…anyone wanna help me make a quilt out of them?!

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