Standards of faith/a relationship with Jesus aren’t that big of a deal to most people.
Disclaimer: if you are a follower of Jesus and are in a relationship with someone who is not, my aim is not to offend you. My goal here is to tell my story and my viewpoint. If you don’t agree with me, that is okay. Chances are we can still have a civil conversation with one another and talk things out! I like to think I’m pretty easy to get along with!
Now, on to the fun stuff…
Last week I mentioned that I like to think of myself as a woman of standards. I think that there is a huge gap in our lives of what we label ourselves and how we live.
With that said, I also think there’s a huge gap in the standards we have set for ourselves when looking at someone as a potential spouse.
Over and over again I read profiles full of statements like, “I’m a Christian but it’s okay if you aren’t. It’s not that big of a deal.”
In fact, here are two descriptions straight from the horse’s mouth:
I go to church basically every Sunday. It’s really not much time a week, but gives me a chance to reflect, pray, and learn to try and become a better person. It’d be nice to find someone to share this faith with me also. I’m not asking you to believe exactly what I believe, just be with me.
Lutheran guy, born and raised. I can respect you and your beliefs as long as you respect mine. Details are details, but having faith towards an idea or belief is a good start in my book.
In other words (and yes, this is my interpretation), these guys don’t really care if their dream girl has a relationship with Christ. Is this okay? Is it enough to just go to church and “be with” someone while you’re there? Is a mutual faith that important in a relationship?
My answers: No. No. YES.
And here’s why:
If growing in Christ and towards Christ isn’t the goal of all of my actions, what’s the point? If I’m dating/married to someone that is not leading me toward Jesus, then it ends up being a self-serving relationship that does not bring glory to God. And as a Christian, the goal of my life is God’s glory.
Now, I must also add that I believe there is nothing that God can’t redeem. If you are dating/married to someone that doesn’t believe in Christ, it doesn’t mean that person is out of God’s reach or that you are in the wrong. God’s grace is bigger than any dumb blog post I could ever write (praise Jesus!!).
However, I still believe that we are lacking in standards in our relationships.
Maybe, just maybe, if I set a standard of faith that a guy must reach before I consider dating him, we’ll end up having a great friendship resulting in a marriage that brings God glory.
And, for the record, my standard is this: a guy needs to love Jesus more than he loves me, but love me enough to lead me toward Jesus and care about my relationship with Him.
Unrealstic? Nah. I don’t think so.
Because at the end of the day, as sinful people, if we don’t have Jesus to rely on individually, we really don’t have anything. I will fail you and you will fail me.
Also, it’d be great if my guy also loves hunting. And baseball. And bacon. Aaannnddd queso.