Tag Archives: Jesus

Jun 15 2015
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Identity

quick fix

SNL_1612_11_Bein_Quirky_EST

First of all, welcome back Cotter…I mean…Kayla. This is a weird early morning Monday edition because I’m on vacation and actually have the time to write.

Secondly, I’m in Arizona and sweating just sitting inside this coffee shop. It’s hot here.

Okay.

I’ve had many conversations lately around the premise of “this will fix that.”

“If I get through this week, then I’ll be on vacation and will finally be able to slow down…”
“If I get this job, then I’ll make more money…”
“If I do this one thing right, then…”
“If I get married, then I’ll be happy…”
“If I get married, then we’ll have 2 incomes and finally be able to afford…”

YOU GET THE PICTURE. (Sorry for screen-yelling at you.)

The problem with all of this is that it never works. All of the above scenarios, and what ever ones you were thinking in your own head, require me to be better, to work harder, to do something that fixes an issue. Yet, behind all of these issues are insecurities, pride, distrust….sin. They miss Christ.

God is continually reminding me that my life is already redeemed. Not only do I not have to work for His goodness, I can’t work for His goodness. He has already given it to me, with no strings attached!

In him (Jesus) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight (Ephesians 1:7-8)

Also, Jesus doesn’t fix me. Jesus heals me. Makes me whole, more human.

Jesus isn’t in the business of fixing people. He’s in the business of making them completely new.

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of the flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. (Colossians 2:13-14)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The Bible doesn’t say that Jesus died so that I could be a better person, or live a happier life, or get married. Jesus lived a perfect life, died the death that I deserve, was buried, and rose again on the third day so that I can be redeemed and made alive in Him. That’s it. That’s the point.

Marriage won’t fix me. Jesus doesn’t even fix me. Jesus makes me whole and new. And that is enough.

*get quirk with Bjork, Zooey Deschanel, and Mary Kate Olsen here! 

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May 13 2015
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Contentment

misplaced contentment

surprise sue

Warning: this blog will not fix your contentment issues.

The following is an actual conversation that actually occurred between actual people. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.

“I think I’m going to get my tragus pierced this weekend.” – Krayla

“Isn’t that kinda dangerous? Just go skydiving instead.” – Whitley

“….I think I’m just bored…” – Krayla

“Mmmhhmmm…contentment.” – Whitley

Fine, I’ll confess. Krayla is really Kayla. It’s me. I was the one that wanted (wants) to get my ear pierced again. And I really think it is because I’m bored. I think it’ll look cool and people will think I’m pretty hardcore.

But really, deep down, I truly do have a contentment issue. My friend is right – I’m not content with my life so I want to change it. I talk about tattoos, or piercings, or a new coat/shoes, a different (insert thing here).

I often think I’m just stuck in a rut of some sorts, so I need to do something exciting to amp up my life. I miss contentment in Christ and work to fill it with new, shinier things.

And, quite honestly, I think the church (at large) has done a poor job at helping singles (men & women) figure out what contentment in Christ really looks like.

Side note: I also think contentment in Christ is an issue that married people struggle with as well, but since I’m not married I cannot speak to that.

I often find myself living this life of singleness, treating it as if it is only a season. I want to pass through it as quickly as possible and get the golden goose egg of marriage delivered on my front door PRONTO!

I become discontent with my life – thinking that God is holding out on me, or doesn’t really want me to experience true joy – because I still file my taxes under a single status.

I misplace my joy in guys, and am never satisfied. I rely on my relationship status for contentment, and am always left disappointed. I lean in hard to the perception that marriage will ultimately fulfill me and give me worth, and when that wall crumbles I’m left face first on the ground.

And I say the church at large has done a poor job in helping me (and others) figure this sin issue out because that’s the realm we play in to. We place marriage on this really high pedestal and leave those of us that can’t climb up that high out. When couples have babies, we promote them to sainthood – especially if they make the ‘right’ choices regarding feeding & waste disposal.

What we don’t do a good job at is teaching and encouraging one another to rely on Jesus regardless of season or status. We don’t do a good job at listening to Paul and trust that we too can experience this truth deeply when he says, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11)

I don’t have any answers, or really any good input when it comes to living a content life. I’ve obviously got a lot to learn in this area. But I do have a challenge: I’m going to stop referring to my singleness as a season to just pass through, I’m going to stop relying on the next best thing to satisfy me, and I’m going to continue to run, hard, to Jesus when I starting thinking about getting my ear pierced again.

But maybe I will get my ear pierced. Who knows.

**watch Sue get really amped up here**

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May 02 2015
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Identity

Ebenezer (not Scrooge)

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Kind of a weird title for a blog that is being published at the beginning of May instead of December, right?

That was the best line I could come up with for the intro. First words are usually the hardest.

Now that we’ve broken the ice I can get to it.

Ebenezer’s have been popping up a lot in my life lately. Which is actually a fairly accurate statement because an Ebenezer is a stone that was raised by Samuel to commemorate victory over the Philistine army. It is a place of remembrance. History AND relevance! #FTW!

I’ve been trying to remember God more intentionally, which sounds like a pretty strange concept, but stick with me.

In the book “Cupid is a Procrastinator” (yes, there is a book by that title and yes, I am reading it. It’s really good so talk to me about it before you judge me OR the book), the author writes:

Samuel set up a stone memorial in that place and said, “Thus far, the Lord has helped us” (1 Samuel 7:12). He set it up as a way to pause and say, “God, we have been through a lot, but you have always been faithful. You have helped us before, and you will keep on helping us. Thank you for what you’ve done so far, and thank you for what you will keep on doing.”

It is easy for me to forget about God’s faithfulness and steadfast love that He has shown over and over in my life. A couple of weeks ago I had a major breakdown in my friend’s kitchen because I was convinced that nothing good would ever happen in my life – that I was in ultimate emotional despair.

Have I ever mentioned that I can be a bit dramatic?

I was convinced of that because I forgot God. I forgot about His promise to me to pour out joy, peace, love, kindness, redemption, grace, mercy, etc. continuously.

I forgot that He has shown up in my darkest places before. That He saw me at my weakest and drew me into Himself to comfort and rescue me.

I forgot that God is for me – that he leads and guides me for His name’s sake (Psalm 31:3).

I forgot that my value and worth are directly affected by me being an image bearer of God – that nothing can take that from me, and nothing can shake that truth.

So, I want to remember God. I want to be intentional about reminding myself of His promises in Scripture, of His provision in relationships, and I deeply want to remind myself of moments in my life where He has clearly helped me, just as He did with Samuel & the Israelites.

I want to be a walking Ebenezer – remembering always the goodness of God and His ever-helping grace.

How has God worked in your life & how do you remember His faithfulness to you?

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Mar 25 2015
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Uncategorized

someone’s watching you

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This afternoon I got to watch my favorite thing in real life – college softball. Mizzou played Illinois and I got to watch the beloved Tigers…well…smash the Illini 17-5. Sorry Illinois, but it was awesome!

One of my favorite things about going to college softball games is getting to see all of the young girls that come out in droves to see the older athletes competing in the sport they love. I got to sit surrounded by young ladies that love the game and love watching the cool older girls play.

After the game was over, a Mizzou player walked behind the bleachers were I was sitting near some younger players and these little ones were GIDDY. They couldn’t get over how close they were to this collegiate athlete. They couldn’t believe they got to watch her play and see her team dominate.

One of them couldn’t stop talking about how they shared a number and used the same bat!

I love – love – witnessing moments like this.
I love seeing young girls bright-eyed and dreamy about what they could be some day.
I love being reminded that our lives are seen.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

People are watching us. As Christians, we have eyes on us constantly – usually waiting for us to fail so they can point and say, “See…I told you…”

We must be aware of our actions. When I strike out, I need to watch my words and the way I respond to the umpire. When I’m struggling in a friendship, I need to check my selfishness and seek reconciliation. When I get dumped, I don’t need to bad-mouth the dude or dishonor him as a brother in Christ.

Not so that I can pretend that I have it all together. Rather, so that others can see Jesus and His grace at work in my life. So that they can see the Light within me and know a hope that is greater than anything this world can offer. So that they may give glory to my Father in heaven.

The world wants me to get mad, live in bitterness, and seek revenge. Jesus wants me to submit to Him and trust in His love – that no matter what, He is my constant comfort, satisfaction, strength, peace, and joy.

I may not be the college softball player little ones are looking up to anymore, but I am a follower of Christ that others look to as a representative of Jesus.

May we all carry Him close to us & walk well with Him.

*ps, that picture at the top is 1 of 5 (FIVE) home runs the Tigers hit today! #BombCity!!

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Mar 18 2015
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Relationships

great expectations (not the Charles Dickens kind)

lowered-expectations

First of all, I haven’t read the classic by Dickens, so maybe this is exactly the Charles Dickens kind. You’ll have to tell me.

If there’s one thing us ladies can miscommunicate with people in our lives about, it’s expectations.

I would assume that most of us have pretty high expectations in relationships across the board – with family, friends, boyfriends, coworkers, etc.
And I would also assume that we are usually the only one in those relationships that knows about and acknowledges the expectations.

In my life I have placed unknown and unrealistic expectations on all sorts of people in my life.

I have expected a friend to know that they hurt me with their words, so I hold out on communicating with them until they finally come around and apologize. This is a mishap because if I don’t tell said friend I’m hurt, they don’t know they may need to apologize, or that we need to have a conversation about the situation.

I have expected a friend to know that I could really use some quality time (my love language, hhaaayyy) because my life feels all out of sorts, but they’ve already booked their weekend so I don’t let them know I’m feeling sloopy (just made that word up) and instead hold it against them and think, “Well, they really don’t care that much about me then!” This is a major mishap because 1) I’m putting them in the place of Jesus, and 2) again…no communication.

I have expected a boy to realize that spending a lot of time with me is causing my heart to leap to places that may be unhealthy without a definition on the relationship. This is a mishap because I’m expecting the man to know my heart as his own when we aren’t engaged/married/or (potentially) DATING, and this puts him in the place of Jesus. (Whitney told me to tell you that married people can fall in to this trap as well!)

I think I can even place an unrealistic expectation on God when I expect Him to act as my personal genie and just give me what I want, when I want it. This is a mishap because…well…God is the sovereign Creator of the cosmos who came to the world to redeem and restore sinners…not to make my life a Disney fairytale. (But speaking of fairytale, I saw the new “Cinderella” with some friends and it was DREAMY!)

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:33-34)

The highest expectation we should place on ourselves is to seek first God’s kingdom. Then everything else falls in to place. I don’t have to worry about unrealistic expectations.

Bottom line, don’t be afraid to communicate and clarify expectations in relationships. It will only help to alleviate heartbreak and confusion, especially for you! And you just might find deeper, more meaningful connections with those around you in the process.

*for all you comedy nerds out there that remember MADtv you’ll enjoy this throwback of Lowered Expectations with Stuart!! and for those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, go ahead and enjoy for the first time! Click here!!

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