Oct 15 2014
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Relationships

it gets better

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When I think about heartbreak, two instances in my life stick out vividly. Once was a time when a “friend” pretty viciously attacked my character and motive and it made me question and evaluate every friendship I’d ever had in my life up to that point. No big deal.

The other time was by a boy.

The time the boy broke my heart was HARD. I look back at the night it happened and feel bad for my friends that had to deal with my weepy self. I say “weepy” as if I just cried a little bit and whined for a while. It was more like ugly-crying so hard my facial features were unrecognizable and I couldn’t form normal human sentences.

It. Was. Rough.

Looking back, I can honestly say the reason it was so rough was because I had placed all of my security, fulfillment, and approval in the relationship. I lived like this man could save me.

Then it came crashing down.

In reality, it was more like a quick trip on a sidewalk rather than a huge crash.

From both of these experiences I’ve learned a major lesson: life gets better.

It doesn’t get better because I now have amazing friendships (which I do). It doesn’t get better because I’m in an awesome relationship (which I’m not).

It gets better because I now see Jesus more clearly than I ever have in my life.
It gets better because I know within my bones that I am loved and approved by the God Most High.
It gets better because Christ has fought for me and won my heart.

I had a conversation last night with some very dear friends and told them that the one thing I wish young girls (and boys too) could understand is that life gets better.

Friendships are hard. Relationships are hard. Life is hard. But going through it with Jesus makes it so much better.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
    than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
    than to trust in princes.
-Psalm 118:8-9

Know that God is on your side. And know that it gets better.

*for a sweet pep talk from Bon Jovi, click here!

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Oct 09 2014
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Contentment

when you act like marriage is my savior

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I’m learning not to be legalistic. It’s Thursday. Deal with it. (Whitney told me to write this.)

I’ve been in the church my entire life. I often say that the only two things I’ve known my entire life are sports and Jesus. I’ve been around church people for a long, long time. And I’ve loved most of it. I’m grateful for having grown up in the environment I did. I glad I’m involved in a Gospel centered church with a community of believers that love and encourage me daily.

What I don’t always love is when people act like marriage is my savior.

Please hear (read) what I’m about to say in love:

Dear well-meaning people in my life, marriage cannot & will not save me. When you ask me if I’m dating someone, and I answer with a “no,” don’t feel sad for me. Don’t look at me with discomfort and say something like, “well, it’ll happen when God wants it to happen,” or, “I’m sure God is just making you in to the wife you need to be!”

Sure, I may struggle with God’s timing. I may be a tad bummed that I’m not in a relationship. I might desire marriage and a family.

But don’t act like that is better for me than Jesus. If I’m struggling with singleness, that doesn’t help me. In fact, it feeds the idolatry in my heart and pushes me away from the cross.

I appreciate people showing care and concern in my life. I don’t mind questions regarding my dating life.

But please, can we all agree to stop acting like dating is better than Jesus? Can we stop pretending that marriage is our savior?

“If Christ is not your fulfillment…marriage will never be.” – Trey Herweck (@therweck)

So let’s stop acting like it can.

*I chose this Weekend Update sketch because the way they say “Really?!” is often how I react in my head to what’s described above. Click here to watch!!

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Oct 01 2014
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Uncategorized

living on yesterday

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A friend said to me last week, “You can’t depend on yesterday’s manna to sustain you.”

It was basically the slap in the face I needed. Don’t worry though, she didn’t really slap me. She said it over the phone, so no physical altercation occurred.

But she was dead on.

In Exodus chapter 16, the Israelites had just crossed the Red Sea, had witnessed bitter water made sweet in order for them to drink it, and had entered Elim, where, according to Exodus 15:27, “there were twelve springs of water and seventy palm trees.”

Really, Israel? 70 palm trees?

Anyways. Begin chapter 16.

Israel sets out from Elim and enters the wilderness. While in the wilderness the “whole congregation of the people of Israel” [so….a LOT of people…] “grumbled against Moses and Aaron.” The people were a little ticked because they had nothing to eat. Well, just as He had in Egypt, at the Red Sea, in Elim…the Lord heard their cries and provided for them. He rained down manna from heaven in the morning, and brought up quail in the camp at evening for the people of Israel to eat and be filled.

The only thing He told them was to gather only a day’s portion. And being the obedient, observant people they were, Israel did the exact opposite, and their manna became rotten. The Bible actually says, “it bred worms and stank.”

Don’t get me started. Don’t EVEN get me started.

But, you know what, I’m like Israel a lot.

I try to depend on what God did yesterday. I use last week’s Bible study as time with the Lord for today. I use my rollover Jesus time for days on end.

I try to depend on yesterday’s manna to sustain me.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says this,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

If the Creator of all provides new mercy for me daily, why do I not step in to that joy and freedom daily? Why do I rely only on what God revealed to me 2 weeks ago?

Especially when it comes to struggling in seasons of life, such as singleness, I must go to the Lord daily and receive mercy, grace, forgiveness, joy, comfort, and peace for the day to come.

I need to gather my manna daily, then go back tomorrow for more.

*to enjoy the comedic stylings of Jeannie Darcy, click here!

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Sep 24 2014
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Relationships

“Who wants to go through life without some heartbreak?”

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I love the NBC show Chicago Fire. Mainly because I love Sophia Bush, so I love Chicago P.D., and you can’t watch P.D. without watching Fire.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up.

The season premier of Chicago Fire was last night and man, it was ggoooooodd. I cried approximately 7.2 times in 45 minutes of television.

One line in the episode stuck out to me in particular. While discussing her love life, one character (I won’t say who because I don’t want to spoil anything) says, “Who wants to go through life without some heartbreak?”

My first reaction was – ME! I DO!

But I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, and I’ve come to this conclusion: heartbreak might be necessary.

My most desperate times have often been my deepest, most intimate times with the Lord. I’ve had my heart broken by a myriad of things: boys, friends, coaches, teammates, family, myself. And in every one of those seasons of heartbreak, God has revealed Himself to me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

In the times when I can’t help but recognize my own helplessness and cry out to the Almighty, I’m blown away by His goodness and His deep care for me and my emotions.

I can call out with the Psalmists:

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? (Psalm 56:8)

But I call to God, and the LORD will save me. (Psalm 53:16)

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour our your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:8)

See where I’m going with this?

You and I are not alone in our heartache. We have a God that loves us enough to meet us in our emotional mess, reach His hand out, and pull us up into His arms to love us out of the hurt.

I’d like to avoid heartbreak as much as possible. Mainly because I get headaches when I cry a lot, and headaches are not fun.

But if it takes heartbreak to drive my stubborn self into the arms of Jesus, then so be it.

*If you’d like to learn how to flirt from Rebecca Larue, click here!

*If you’d like to get hooked on Chicago Fire, click here!

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Sep 17 2014
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don’t give the game away

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I coach a softball team and it’s probably my favorite fall activity outside of deer hunting and wassail. But both are probably more of a winter activity because of the rut (for deer hunting, and that’s usually when you see more action) and wassail is typically a Christmas drink, but I can make it WHENEVER I WANT! You’re not the boss of me.

I digress.

I love my team. I love watching my girls develop. I love watching them have fun with their friends. But I don’t love watching them lose. It literally breaks my heart every time.

We had a game tonight and at one point we were only down 4 runs (in a VERY high scoring game). We were up to bat and before the girls grabbed their helmets for a big inning, I said, “you have 2 options here: you can either compete and fight to get back into this game, or you can lay down and give it away.”

I know, I know…coach of the year material right here.

They did fight. They didn’t quit. And that made me a proud coach.

By this point you’re probably thinking, “But Kayla, this isn’t a coaching blog!” And you’re right, it’s not. To which I say, thank you for paying attention the last 38 weeks!

Here’s where it connects for me: in the season of singleness I have 2 choices – I can either press into Jesus and find my identity, worth, and value in Him, or I can settle.

Now please don’t hear me saying that being married is “settling.” I’m not saying that at all. But I AM saying that chasing after anything that is not Christ is settling. Allowing some temporal, earthly pursuit to come between you and Jesus is settling.

I wrote a few weeks ago about being competitive and how it’s sometimes not the best idea, but tonight I’m loving the idea of competitive nature. I’m thankful for an athletic mentality that tells me, “Hey, it’s time to make a decision and go after it. Either you’re in or you’re out. What’s it gonna be?”

And I like having the drive and (sometimes) the discipline to see it through.

I’m going to compete for Jesus. I’m going to scratch and claw my way into joy, into fullness, into Christ.

And I’m not going to quit until I get there.

If you want to see Maya & Kristen crack up in this hilarious sketch, click here!

Also, if you enjoy what you’ve read above, would you mind sharing it with others? After all, sharing is caring 🙂 

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