Ebenezer (not Scrooge)

ent-091109-christmascaroljpg-65bb5b145488e525_large

Kind of a weird title for a blog that is being published at the beginning of May instead of December, right?

That was the best line I could come up with for the intro. First words are usually the hardest.

Now that we’ve broken the ice I can get to it.

Ebenezer’s have been popping up a lot in my life lately. Which is actually a fairly accurate statement because an Ebenezer is a stone that was raised by Samuel to commemorate victory over the Philistine army. It is a place of remembrance. History AND relevance! #FTW!

I’ve been trying to remember God more intentionally, which sounds like a pretty strange concept, but stick with me.

In the book “Cupid is a Procrastinator” (yes, there is a book by that title and yes, I am reading it. It’s really good so talk to me about it before you judge me OR the book), the author writes:

Samuel set up a stone memorial in that place and said, “Thus far, the Lord has helped us” (1 Samuel 7:12). He set it up as a way to pause and say, “God, we have been through a lot, but you have always been faithful. You have helped us before, and you will keep on helping us. Thank you for what you’ve done so far, and thank you for what you will keep on doing.”

It is easy for me to forget about God’s faithfulness and steadfast love that He has shown over and over in my life. A couple of weeks ago I had a major breakdown in my friend’s kitchen because I was convinced that nothing good would ever happen in my life – that I was in ultimate emotional despair.

Have I ever mentioned that I can be a bit dramatic?

I was convinced of that because I forgot God. I forgot about His promise to me to pour out joy, peace, love, kindness, redemption, grace, mercy, etc. continuously.

I forgot that He has shown up in my darkest places before. That He saw me at my weakest and drew me into Himself to comfort and rescue me.

I forgot that God is for me – that he leads and guides me for His name’s sake (Psalm 31:3).

I forgot that my value and worth are directly affected by me being an image bearer of God – that nothing can take that from me, and nothing can shake that truth.

So, I want to remember God. I want to be intentional about reminding myself of His promises in Scripture, of His provision in relationships, and I deeply want to remind myself of moments in my life where He has clearly helped me, just as He did with Samuel & the Israelites.

I want to be a walking Ebenezer – remembering always the goodness of God and His ever-helping grace.

How has God worked in your life & how do you remember His faithfulness to you?

Tagged , , , ,

realizing your basically just like an ancient tribe

IMG_5564

(just me waving ‘Hi’ from a corn field. photo creds to the ever-lovely H Mae.)

I’ve been reading through the book of Exodus lately. It’s taking me a while to get through the book, but in a weird way, I’m glad I wasn’t so disciplined and rigid about getting through it in a specific time frame. (Read: I just didn’t read it as regularly as a good Christian would have…) [also, please note sarcasm when you read “good Christian would have…”] {okay, I think I’m done with parentheses/brackets now}

Also, I just saw a motorcyclist drive past Starbucks with a GoPro on his helmet. $3 says he pulls some street trix tonight.

I get distracted easily.

Back to Exodus.

So, I’m reading through and early on in the book I’m just totally blow away by God showing up with His people. I can consistently see Yahweh coming to His people, actively working to redeem them. And I was always like, “YES! I KNOW this God! I see and feel His active redemption in my life too!”

Then I get to the part(s) of the book where the people of Israel decide it’s a good idea to open their mouths. And grumble. And question God. And sorta roll their eyes at Him and complain about dumb stuff.

Specifically in chapter 15 they are complaining about some bitter water. I can sense some smart mouth (probably named Kayla) saying, “Well, what are we gonna do now? What are we supposed to drink?!”

I read that and immediately wrote down, “The people of Israel didn’t give God time to work. They immediately began grumbling.”

Then again, in chapter 17, the issue of water comes up again! Geez Israel, stop being so thirsty!!

Anyways, they move from the wilderness and “there was no water for the people to drink.” They go before Moses and complain, again, and he goes before the Lord on their behalf, again, and God (I imagine) gives Moses a slight eyebrow raise and says, “Watch this…”

God literally tells Moses to hit this random rock with his staff & water will pour out of it. And it does. Water flows from a ROCK. Because, God.

What gets me about this passage though, is what comes in verse 7:

He called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the quarreling of the people of Israel, and because they tested the Lord by saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?”

Here’s what Kayla’s scribblings say about this: It’s so funny/amusing to me when Israel doubts God’s presence or goodness during their time of physical need – YET, I am just like that. If I want/desire something physical, material, and God doesn’t give it to me in my time frame, I ask with Israel, “Is the Lord among us or not?”

Hi, I’m Kayla, and I am just like ancient Israel.

Israel experienced the plagues in Egypt, walked THROUGH THE RED SEA on DRY GROUND, was led through the wilderness by a pillar of fire and a cloud of smoke…AND THEY STILL QUESTIONED GOD’S GOODNESS.

Kayla has experienced God’s faithfulness in her life in MULTIPLE ways, YET STILL DOUBTS GOD’S GOODNESS!

It is easy to forget how truly good God is when things aren’t going our way – in relationships, jobs, friendships, financially, *insert scenario here*.

I’m not going to pretend like I never get ticked with God. In fact, He and I had a really long conversation last weekend about how mad I was at Him. But you know what? He is still good. He still lovingly draws me in and says, “I know. I know it’s hard for you right now. I know your heart hurts. But just wait until the morning. Wait until you can see what I see.”

I’m holding on to that right now. I may be frustrated. I may be hurt. But I’m holding on to a God who sees the promised land before I do and knows that I will get there in due time.

Tagged , , , ,

you don’t have to have an answer

tumblr_leygrtnRTu1qzu18ao1_400

I like to have conversations with people about life and all that occurs in it. I really enjoy being around people in different stages of life than me – hearing about how God is working, has worked in other seasons of their lives, and their hopes for what He will do in their future.

What I don’t always like is how we always have to have an answer for one another.

I often find myself in conversations with people where I feel the need to have all the correct answers to their life issues. I need to always have the right Bible verse, the right cliché saying, the perfect attagirl speech to fix all their issues.

I’ve also been on the flip side – I’ve simply wanted someone to hear my frustrations, struggles, or anxieties of life but in return I get a pep talk that concludes with, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

Neither of those are healthy places to be in.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we interact with one another. It’s not good for me to listen to my friend that is struggling in her job, and follow up with, “Well, at least you have a job that pays you on a regular basis, and there’s no threat of you losing it, you should be grateful.”

That leaves my friend feeling like she was never heard in her struggle – that her voice was silenced, her hurt heart shut out, and her personal life doesn’t matter.

If you think I’m taking that a little too far, then you might be a robot. Or just a non-emotional human, which is more likely than you being a robot.

I have definitely felt those feelings – that I was silenced, shut out, and of no value. (Dramatic? Yes. I know this.)

I’ve been in conversations where I’ve poured out my struggles with singleness and in return have heard things like, “When you least expect it, God will bring the right guy along” or “You just need to be content in Christ right now” or “You’re such a great catch, any guy would be lucky to have you!”

While yes, all of these things are true, I already know this. I just need someone to hear me, cry with me if necessary, understand that I can get sad, and pray for/with me that God would meet me in my pain and comfort me. If I ask you for your input, please give it. And I’ll try not to open my mouth if it isn’t appropriate. But let’s agree to be quick to listen & slow to speak with one another.

We don’t need to have the answers for each other – God already has them.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

*PS, tonight’s clip isn’t a Debbie Downer sketch, BUT it is a sketch of her freaking out while attending a game night. Watch it cause it’s awesome.

Tagged , ,

we just need each other

09-kirsten-wiig.w529.h352.2x

Sometimes life is tough. I’ve experienced (what I think are) a lot of tough times thus far in my short life (no comments on my height, please).

However, life has been a lot less tough in the past few years, mainly because I know what community looks like. I know what life with people should be like. I’m learning what it means to bear with one another, to live life with others that actually means something.

I think all too often we are afraid of being real with one another. We hold back our struggles, sins, insecurities, and doubts. We may even hold back our joys, wins, and celebrations of things going well in our lives.

We are afraid of being known, yet that’s all we really desire. We are made to be in community with one another.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2)

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

“I don’t like going this long without being with you guys in the same room. I feel like the devil knows we’ve been apart, and he chooses those periods of time to just give us all the junk he can throw at us.”

I got this text message last night from one of my dearest. I’d been having a rough week – and by week, I mean multiple weeks, maybe months – and, after a long conversation about life, she sent this. It’s so right.

We need each other. And I’m not just saying I need my friends and they need me.

I’m saying you need your friends. They need you.

We need to create a safe place for one another to just be – the be able to weep, to rejoice, to celebrate, to hold one another up.

May we all be willing to admit that we need one another – that life is better with people.

Let’s keep showing up.

*if you want to giggle a little & feel some feels, click here to watch Kristen’s last go-round as a SNL cast member!

Tagged , , ,

someone’s watching you

IMG_0001

This afternoon I got to watch my favorite thing in real life – college softball. Mizzou played Illinois and I got to watch the beloved Tigers…well…smash the Illini 17-5. Sorry Illinois, but it was awesome!

One of my favorite things about going to college softball games is getting to see all of the young girls that come out in droves to see the older athletes competing in the sport they love. I got to sit surrounded by young ladies that love the game and love watching the cool older girls play.

After the game was over, a Mizzou player walked behind the bleachers were I was sitting near some younger players and these little ones were GIDDY. They couldn’t get over how close they were to this collegiate athlete. They couldn’t believe they got to watch her play and see her team dominate.

One of them couldn’t stop talking about how they shared a number and used the same bat!

I love – love – witnessing moments like this.
I love seeing young girls bright-eyed and dreamy about what they could be some day.
I love being reminded that our lives are seen.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

People are watching us. As Christians, we have eyes on us constantly – usually waiting for us to fail so they can point and say, “See…I told you…”

We must be aware of our actions. When I strike out, I need to watch my words and the way I respond to the umpire. When I’m struggling in a friendship, I need to check my selfishness and seek reconciliation. When I get dumped, I don’t need to bad-mouth the dude or dishonor him as a brother in Christ.

Not so that I can pretend that I have it all together. Rather, so that others can see Jesus and His grace at work in my life. So that they can see the Light within me and know a hope that is greater than anything this world can offer. So that they may give glory to my Father in heaven.

The world wants me to get mad, live in bitterness, and seek revenge. Jesus wants me to submit to Him and trust in His love – that no matter what, He is my constant comfort, satisfaction, strength, peace, and joy.

I may not be the college softball player little ones are looking up to anymore, but I am a follower of Christ that others look to as a representative of Jesus.

May we all carry Him close to us & walk well with Him.

*ps, that picture at the top is 1 of 5 (FIVE) home runs the Tigers hit today! #BombCity!!

Tagged , , ,