I like to have conversations with people about life and all that occurs in it. I really enjoy being around people in different stages of life than me – hearing about how God is working, has worked in other seasons of their lives, and their hopes for what He will do in their future.
What I don’t always like is how we always have to have an answer for one another.
I often find myself in conversations with people where I feel the need to have all the correct answers to their life issues. I need to always have the right Bible verse, the right cliché saying, the perfect attagirl speech to fix all their issues.
I’ve also been on the flip side – I’ve simply wanted someone to hear my frustrations, struggles, or anxieties of life but in return I get a pep talk that concludes with, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
Neither of those are healthy places to be in.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we interact with one another. It’s not good for me to listen to my friend that is struggling in her job, and follow up with, “Well, at least you have a job that pays you on a regular basis, and there’s no threat of you losing it, you should be grateful.”
That leaves my friend feeling like she was never heard in her struggle – that her voice was silenced, her hurt heart shut out, and her personal life doesn’t matter.
If you think I’m taking that a little too far, then you might be a robot. Or just a non-emotional human, which is more likely than you being a robot.
I have definitely felt those feelings – that I was silenced, shut out, and of no value. (Dramatic? Yes. I know this.)
I’ve been in conversations where I’ve poured out my struggles with singleness and in return have heard things like, “When you least expect it, God will bring the right guy along” or “You just need to be content in Christ right now” or “You’re such a great catch, any guy would be lucky to have you!”
While yes, all of these things are true, I already know this. I just need someone to hear me, cry with me if necessary, understand that I can get sad, and pray for/with me that God would meet me in my pain and comfort me. If I ask you for your input, please give it. And I’ll try not to open my mouth if it isn’t appropriate. But let’s agree to be quick to listen & slow to speak with one another.
We don’t need to have the answers for each other – God already has them.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)
*PS, tonight’s clip isn’t a Debbie Downer sketch, BUT it is a sketch of her freaking out while attending a game night. Watch it cause it’s awesome.
Kayla Smith 