Ahhh, psalm 17. Another psalm where David spends some time telling God how upright and good he is. Another psalm in which David ends up pleading for deliverance from his enemies. Another psalm where I find myself saying, “Yes, please. And me too.”
What hit me this morning is that I, like David, spend time trying to tell God how He has tried my heart, has tested me, and found nothing. (YEAH RIGHT He’s found NOTHING)
I try to fix my mind on keeping my mouth shut so that it will not transgress. (v3) I do my darnedest to convince myself, and the Lord, that I have avoided the ways of the violent. That I have not slipped. (v4-5)
And the whole time I’m reading this, I’m thinking – Gosh. Why do I feel like I have to work so hard to prove myself? Why do I, over and over again, say, “Hey God! Look at me! Look at all the good I’m doing and all the sin I’m not participating in! Don’t you see how I’ve been crushing this whole life thing?!”
And then I get to verse 7 and David and I turn a corner:
Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand.
Lord, wondrously show your steadfast love to this little punk that keeps getting it all wrong. Wondrously show your steadfast love to the one who tries to prove herself time and time again, when all you ask is that I show up and trust you with my today. Wondrously show your steadfast love to the one that desires to walk in righteousness but often takes walks down weird paths that are more about self-righteousness than anything else.
Hide her in the shadow of your wings.
Show up for her.
And then He does.
He shows up by placing His wrath on His Son – removing the justice that I deserve because I have not kept my mouth from transgressing. I have not avoided the ways of the violent. I have slipped.
But praise be to God that I am found in the shadow of His wings & the due penalty of my sin was covered by the blood of the spotless Lamb on the cross.