First of all, I used the term “unsingles” in the title because I’m referred to as unmarried. And also, that’s incorrect. If anything I’m non-married or just single. I wasn’t married and then it became “un.” Non. Or just single. Not un.
Glad we cleared that up.
Now, this holiday guide is for all of you that are unsingle – married, dating, etc. It’s highly likely that you will interact with a single person during this holiday season, and I want to help you get through it.
- If you ask us about how our life is going and we don’t mention a boyfriend, don’t press us on it.
If we just tell you that work is great, our friends are awesome, we managed to vacuum our apartment twice in the past 4 months, and that’s it, then let it be. Don’t continue to ask vague questions, trying to manipulate us into saying, “Nope. Still single. No prospects. Kthanksbye.” - When I’m holding a small child/baby, don’t ask me if I have the fever.
I’m acutely aware that I don’t have a child right now, and won’t have one for at least the next 10-11 months [take a minute to let that joke land…]
The only fever I probably have in that moment is probably from the meat sweats and the delicious Christmas feast I just consumed. Wanting a baby isn’t going to get me married any quicker. - Please don’t ask me if I have anyone to spend Christmas with.
Sometimes, when us singles go to Christmas parties, the easy small-talk question is, “So, do you have anyone to spend Christmas with?” or “Well if you’re not married or dating anyone, then what do you do for Christmas?!”
I have a family – an awesome family, for that matter – that gathers every year to celebrate God dwelling with man, tell wonderful stories of Christmases long, long ago, and eat until we have to crawl to our bedrooms to put sweatpants on. I have a life beyond my marital status. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR CHRISTMAS?! - Know that if you do come at me with all of the above, it’ll be okay.
I realize the last 2 weeks have shown off some of my sassy side, but know that God is bigger than my sassiness. He’s also bigger than the words we use with one another. And He’s bigger than well meaning intentions that really hurt some people deep down in their hearts. I know when you ask about my dating life, you’re not meaning to push on a soft spot in my heart. I know that relationships are an easy talking point. So please know that I’ll give you grace – I may roll my eyes, or snap back with some sarcastic comment initially – but I’ll get over myself and extend grace, hoping you’ll do the same (see: eye roll & sarcastic comment).
Most importantly, when we run in to each other during this Christmas season, let’s just celebrate Jesus. Let’s remind each other that the Creator of all things saw value in us, so much so that He sent His Son to die on our behalf and save us from our sins.
Now go watch this really funny black & white sketch.
Kayla Smith 