I’ve spent a lot of time on this blog addressing the ladies. I felt like I owed one to all you fellas out there, specifically you single guys.
I don’t claim to be an expert on men. I mean, I am a lady so I really know very little about the mind of a guy. BUT I do know (somewhat) about the mind of women (because, again, I am one), so I want to take some time to express some things on behalf of my gender.
You don’t have to be perfect.
I think us ladies put a lot of pressure on you to be the perfect guy: muscular, rollin in the cash, spotless past, etc. I’m sorry for that. I appreciate your desire to be healthy and financially stable, but I know it’s not fair of me to put perfection upon you. Like you, I too am a sinful person that has been forgiven and covered by the blood of a perfect Savior. In my opinion, it’s pretty attractive that you recognize and admit your need for Jesus. Know that there is freedom from your imperfection and it’s okay to admit you don’t have it all together.
Please do your best to honor me, and I’ll do my best to honor you.
When I say “honor me” I don’t necessarily mean open every single door I need to walk through and bow as I enter a room. Although, if you do that, I’ll be extremely impressed. Well…for a little while…then I might just think it’s weird or that you’ve time traveled from 17th century England. I digress.
When I ask you to honor me, I’m asking you to treat me like you would your sister. I’m asking you to know that my heart is fragile and there’s a lot of pressure on me to “find a man” so leading me on is not okay. Making me feel like I’m the only girl in the world, as Rihanna would lead you to think I want to feel, is not awesome if I don’t have a ring on my finger. Until I am the only girl in the world for you, please help me guard my emotions by being upfront with me, making sure that we’re on the same page with things, and treating me as sister in Christ. That would be pretty legit.
And in return I’ll do my best to not read in to every single word you say or thing you do, whether good or bad. I’ll try to not turn that small thing you said in passing into a marriage proposal, and if you don’t text me back within .2 seconds I’ll do my best to not freak out and assume you hate me. (Cause us girls have a tendency to do things like that sometimes…and I’m sorry for that)
Know that it’s okay for you to be single too.
Just as there’s pressure on the ladies to find a dude and get hitched, I think there’s pressure on you guys as well to find a good woman. If Christ should be my first love, He should be yours as well. As I would tell any female out there listening, I’m going to tell you: don’t go to Jesus to get to marriage. Go to Jesus to get to Jesus and allow Him to fill all of the space you’re trying to fill with other junk. Let Him satisfy the deepest parts of your soul. Let Christ be your all in all.
I realize this is probably just the beginning of a much larger conversation. If that’s the case, let’s get a bunch of us together and talk about it! I really don’t think I’m asking for much here, but I do know that what I’m asking for takes a little bit of work. I don’t expect an overnight change either. I’m just asking that you let Jesus guide your singleness as well.
*to see what I hope you don’t run into on a cruise ship someday, click here!
Kayla Smith 