Welcome to the final installment of “What Match.com Taught Me” brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings and Starbucks. Thank you, America.
As I reflect back on my stint of online dating (a whole woppin month!), I can’t help but be grateful for what God has taught me. I think the past three weeks I’ve spent some time bashing other people but haven’t really addressed my heart/idol factory in the matter.
You see, when I first joined the website that I was pretty sure was going to introduce me to my future husband, I did so with extremely selfish motives. I was throwing the pity-party of the year and decided to seek validation from a computer screen or those on the other side of it.
I decided to play god. And I failed.
All of those things I wrote about–insecurity, labeling, standards–are all things that I struggled with because I was “lonely.” My eyes were focused on me, not Christ.
And that’s what happens, isn’t it? We get caught up in the kingdom of me and lose sight of the kingdom of God. Oh how easy it can become to wallow in self-pity and insecurity and act like there is no way out.
But there is a way out and His name is Jesus.
I did meet a guy on match.com and we ended up going on a few dates. At first I was super pumped. He had facial hair and loved Jesus so of course I thought #husbandmaterial. (side note: no shame on the hashtag. I’m just trying to be relevant. Judge if you want.)
But it ended because my heart was still focused on myself. (Also, because he was a hugger and…well…no.) I was focused on immediate affirmation from a fallen, sinful human. I, again, was looking for a way out of my pity-party for one.
The only way out is Jesus.
I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to learn this lesson. I don’t know how many more times I’m going to look to other people or other things for my satisfaction. But I DO know that only Christ can fully satisfy. I DO know that my soul was made for Him and Him alone. I DO know that my identity and value are secure in Him. I DO know that He is the only way out. And I DO know that He will always be there to lovingly extend grace that only He can give.
So, to round out this round up, my prayer is that in times of desperation my heart and my mind would remember to run to Jesus and seek Him alone. Not some computer screen, website, any other object that cannot satisfy. That my soul would know very well that I am valued and loved in the arms of Jesus.
Kayla Smith 