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Nov 09 2016
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The Psalms, Uncategorized

psalm 14

psalm 14.png

I guess the best way to start doing something again is to just start doing it.

So.

Here we are.

Psalm 14.

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good.
The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.
They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.
Have they no knowledge, all the evildoers who eat up my people as they eat bread and do not call upon the Lord?
There they are in great terror, for God is with the generation of the righteous.
You would same the plans of the poor, but the Lord is his refuge.
Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When the Lord restores the fortunes of his people, let Jacob rejoice, let Israel be glad.

I typed this psalm out then went and ate some goldfish, because I just really had to make sure what I’m about to say is what I’m supposed to say.

From my view of the world and the things happening around me/on social media, a lot of us like to take a passage like this and say, “HA! YES! See you FOOL!”

We like to point our fingers at those that are corrupt, doing abominable deeds.

But I can’t read through this whole dang thang and shake my finger at someone else. Because here it tells me that God looks down from heaven and all have turned aside.

We all say in our hearts, “there is no God.” We all say with our actions, “there is no God.” We all say with the way we bow our heads in despair over an election, “there is no God.”

We are all included in this. None of us do good.

So, as you go throughout the rest of this week, keep that in mind.

You and I are sinners in need of a great savior. And that savior has not and will never be the president of the United States. That savior has not and will never be the United States herself. [side note: why is a country always referred to in the feminine? If you have answers, please share.]

The only one great enough to save all of us is Jesus.

“Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!”

He did.
Let’s trust, with the deepest part of who we are, that His work is finished.

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Jul 08 2016
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one white girl’s thoughts on the last 48 hours

Make dreams come true

I drove past a police car yesterday morning on my way to work and started weeping. I started weeping as the faces of my black friends sped through my mind and the thought of them being pulled over by a police officer, wondering what would go through their minds.

If, when they get pulled over, their hearts start racing, hands start shaking, thoughts begin consuming them with wonderment of whether or not this will be the time it’s them.

The two times I’ve been pulled over, my biggest concern was if I would get a ticket or be able to talk my way out of one – not if I would lose my life or be assaulted by an officer performing a routine duty.

I was weeping thinking about seeing a news story with my friend’s name as the headline along with, “Another Black Man fatally shot by Police.”

For those of you that want to say, “Oh come on Kayla, don’t make this a race thing!”…well…it IS a race thing. In the past 48 hours, two black men have been shot to death by police officers that are not black.

And before your mind goes to, “We should know all of the facts before we start talking about this…”

No.

I won’t settle for that anymore. The only fact I need to know right now in order to weep the way I did yesterday morning is that 2 more human beings were killed by a bullet fired from the gun of a government official.

Close your eyes for a minute and picture yourself on your couch.
Your phone rings.
“Ma’am/Sir, we regret to inform you that your son/husband/friend/brother has been killed in an altercation with law enforcement…”

What’s your reaction?

Do you say to yourself, “Well, the officer must have felt threatened for his/her life, or they wouldn’t have done that,” or, “My loved one must have resisted arrest to the point of physical violence, or this would have never happened.”

Absolutely. Not.

You would have cried.
You would have wept so bitterly that your body shook and you went into a state of shock.
You would rush into mourning in ways you never have before.

At first, I wasn’t sure if I had the right to speak on this subject – to try to put myself in the shoes of another that I will never, and can never, fully empathize with. To enter into a story I will never fully understand.

But over the past 2 days – 2 years, really – I’ve ultimately decided that I cannot not speak about it.

To be silent, to me, is to pretend this kind of harm doesn’t exist. To be silent is to, in my mind, perpetuate the injustice that is so apparent in our society.

Now, please hear me – I AM NOT saying that all police are racists, have no compassion, and are not interested in serving their community in ways that put them at risk every single day. I AM NOT saying the officers who lost their lives in Dallas isn’t a heavy thing to bear today, and that we shouldn’t talk about it.

I AM NOT saying that all black people who get pulled over are 100% innocent in every instance throughout all time.

Officers losing their lives protecting a peaceful, black protest. Black men losing their lives by police brutality. This isn’t a day to pick sides. This is a day to mourn over sin and brokenness in our world, over lives lost because all we know to do is incite violence on one another. I am heart b.r.o.k.e.n. over each instance.

What I AM saying is that my heart is heavy for the black community.
My heart is heavy for fellow humans – humans that, because of the imago Dei, are inherently given value, worth, and dignity. Just because they are alive. Humans that should be cared for and fought for regardless of their skin color.
What I AM saying is that I can no longer pretend that this isn’t my problem. I have to feel something. I have to speak something. I have to enter in where it is uncomfortable.

And if you aren’t okay with that, feel free to unfollow/unfriend/delete me from your phone book. OR, better yet, let’s grab some food, coffee, or something and have a conversation about why these things are hard and why emotions are all over the spectrum when it comes to race relations in our country.

We are all hurting. On all sides.

And instead of throwing statistical rocks at one another, we need to have civilized conversations – recognizing that, unless we are walking in the skin or the uniform, we’ll never fully understand how deep the wounds run.

If you’re black, please take me with you. Take me into your life and your community. Help me to see your hurt. Help me to know your culture. Help me to understand what I don’t currently understand.

And if you’re a person in uniform, or closely tied to one, take me with you as well! I want to hear and know the stories behind the names. I want to understand why you wear the uniform you wear, and what in your life impacted you in such a way to put your life at risk every day.

And if you are going to comment or throw around #AllLivesMatter, I hope you’re the first one to step in when violence is being enacted on our black brothers and sisters. Because you’re right, all lives do matter, because all mankind is made in the image of God. But all lives can’t matter to you if black lives don’t matter to you.

And before you write me off thinking that liberal media has brainwashed me, know that they haven’t – but the Gospel of Jesus Christ HAS, and will continue to, change my heart. And if that heart change means that He is moving me to speak for those that won’t be listened to, then that’s what I’m going to do.

All that I’m asking you to do with this is think.
Think about what you would do if you received that phone call.
Put yourself in the passenger seat while your loved one is bleeding out next to you and your 4-year-old daughter is in the back of the car.

I’m sure over the next days, weeks, months that new information will surface, facts and evidence will be revealed, but for now, can we please put our fists down and just grieve? Can we mourn with those who are mourning? Can we agree that the loss of life is a hard thing to bear?

And can we figure out a way to talk with one another as if we’re all in this life thing together?

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Apr 19 2016
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why we all love Fixer Upper

Fixer Upper

You guys, I am in love. At least, I think that’s what this feeling is. I am head over heels about HGTV’s hit Fixer Upper. And I am even MORE over the moon about Chip & Joanna Gaines. Joanna wrote a blog recently about Chip’s breakfast and I almost started packing to go move in with them. That’s an acceptable thing to do with those you love, right?

I know I’m late to the game on the Chip & JoJo bandwagon, but I wanted to take a moment to list why I think we are all so in love with this couple in Waco, TX.

1 – They are adorable.

Seriously. Chip is just a dude’s dude and Joanna is so precious. They are a cute couple. From demo day to reveal, they are just cute. I want to watch them just to see how adorable they are going to be on the t.v. screen. AND THEIR KIDS!!! I mean, come on. No one should be allowed to produce offspring like they have. They are just too cute.

2 – They love each other.

Along with being adorable, Chip and Joanna love each other and it is evident throughout their lives. Sure, they say, “I love you!” but I’m never skeptical of it. I never think for a second that those words are simply spoken to keep appearances up. Chip supports his wife. Joanna adores her husband. They are playful and kind to one another. They encourage each other to do their best and are one another’s biggest cheerleaders. This is one of my favorite things about them. They don’t cut one another down or roll their eyes in disgust.

Now, I know they are on a television show and that reality t.v. is not reality, however, if a production company had any type of drama they could hype up, I think they would. And they don’t with Fixer Upper. There’s no need, because these two love each other. And that is good enough for us to keep watching! Because we want that! People love love, y’all!

3 – They love their kids.

Yes, they work hard. Yes, their kids have babysitters. But they are there for their kids. They cheer their kids on. They encourage the boys to be sweet to their sisters. They bring them in on their work and let them be apart of the cool things Mom and Dad are doing. Their kids aren’t some afterthought that are brought onto the screen so America can stand in awe at their perfect skin tone and adorable smiles.

4 – They redeem.

This is maybe my favorite reason why we all love Fixer Upper. If you’ve creeped long enough like I have, you know that Chip and Joanna love Jesus. You probably don’t know this just from the show, because they never come straight out and say, “Hey you guys, guess what, we love Jesus…” BUT they are doing something right under your nose, showing you they love Jesus.

They are active agents of redemption in this world.

I had a professor in college that spoke adamantly about how, as Christians, we shouldn’t work to create some random sub-par subculture. We should enter into the culture around us and redeem it. We should be agents of redemption in our respective worlds. And that’s what Chip and Jo are doing. They are redeeming.

They even say it at the beginning of their show! They take the worst house in the best neighborhood and make it their client’s dream home.

They take what is broken down and unlovely and make it beautiful to the point of tears for most of their clients.

They see beyond the surface into something that is valuable and deserving of love and turn it in to a masterpiece.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that every time I see a reveal, I think of this passage:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:12-21)

Chip & Joanna Gaines are living ambassadors of Christ, carrying out that which has been entrusted to them – the message of reconciliation and redemption.

I just really love this show and this family. Along with the rest of America.

Now, pardon me while I go search for some shiplap to build a table with.

 

*Image from hgtv.com

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Mar 23 2016
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how going to the gym & church are basically the same thing*

how going to the gym & church are basically the same thing*

*disclaimer: they are not the same thing exactly. Stick with me here. Don’t think I’m a heretic or idol worshipper just yet.

So, my friends and I were at the gym tonight and it hit me: going to church and going to the gym are basically the same thing. There are so many parallels between the 2 that I think I’m going to start wearing my workout clothes to church! (Don’t tell my Grandma…)

Hear me out:

→It’s hard to go by yourself.
Going to the gym is so much easier when you have people with you, not only to hold you accountable but to be your cheerleader, to push you when you want to stop, to help you along in the process.
Going to church is so much easier when you have people with you, not only to hold you accountable, but to be your cheerleader, to push you when you want to stop, to help you along in the process.

See what I did there?

THEY’RE THE SAME THING.

But seriously. 8 months ago I would’ve told you I never wanted to work out with someone. In fact, I did tell someone that. One of my best friends – someone who knows me well. Someone I shouldn’t be ashamed of working out with. But I was. Mainly because I didn’t want to be held accountable. I didn’t want someone to be responsible with in order to grow in my physical health. I wanted to muster up enough strength on my own to change.
The same went for my church life. When I began to take my relationship with Christ seriously, I wanted to go at it alone. I wanted to have control over the whole thing. I didn’t want someone else stepping in to speak into the process.
I didn’t think, in either scenario, another person would be encouraging. I just knew they would heap judgement upon me.

But you know what happened when I finally let people in? When I finally decided to do both with someone? Change. Growth. Encouragement. Deeper fellowship.

And let’s be honest – it’s way easier to walk in to a gym or a church with a person you know. If for nothing else than to have a witness for a good story – trust me…some of my gym stories HAVE to have a witness or else you’d think I was a liar.

(and if you’re reading this and don’t have a solid church to go to, PLEASE ask me for some help in finding one. I’d love nothing better than to help get you plugged in somewhere!)

→It’s a process.
I’ve written in the past about being done with the quick fix and I’m here to say it again (but after you’re done with this, go read that post). Losing weight, changing eating habits, getting in to shape – it’s all a process. But too often we want to skip the hard work and move straight to the results. We want the reward without the willingness to sacrifice something for it.

“Well, I’d really love to lose 10 pounds, but I’mma go eat this whole pizza by myself real quick…”

Sanctification is like that too. We desire closeness to the Lord, but aren’t willing to let Him discipline us and lead us into holiness. We want all of the fluffy feel-goods immediately, not willing to repent and turn from our sin that separates us from our Creator.

There is so much freedom in submitting to the process – both in getting in shape & growing closer to the Lord. To know that I don’t have to have a summer bod by Friday (which, let’s be honest, is totally unrealistic because it’s 8pm on Wednesday night…) is so freeing! Summer doesn’t end until like September or something, so I’ve got some time!

To know that I have a lifetime to allow the Lord to remove sin, draw me close to Him, continually renew my heart, and grow me in holiness is, again, so freeing! Knowing that I don’t have to have all the things figured out tonight gives me sweet relief.

→Jumping around is hard.
This one was maybe my favorite to dissect while on the stationary bike tonight.

Earlier in our workout, my little buddy decided to up the weights by 15 pounds at a time. When she got to the top weight, desiring to “see progress! See it go up!”, she hobbled off the machine and said, “Umm, I don’t think I should have done that.”

My level-headed, super wise response was, “You know, sometimes you need to stay where you’re at and build your muscle up before you move the weights…”

How does this apply to church? Don’t hop around (“like a bunny…because it’s Easter…”-Whitney). There’s no such thing as a perfect church, so don’t give up on it quite yet. Stay put and allow God to work in you. Allow Him to build up your muscle where you’re at. Get in community and stay put to see what He does for a bit.

So, there you have it. Church & getting swole. Same thing. Kinda.

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Nov 24 2015
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Identity, Uncategorized

one direction (now a new one)

onedirection-separazione-2

So, my dear friends, it’s been almost 2 years.

TWO. YEARS.

I don’t know that I’ve been committed to anything other than coffee, queso, and softball for longer than 2 years!

Okay, maybe my family and friends. And pie. I’m definitely committed to pie.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way.

I’ve stuck with this whole I’m-a-blogger thing for a long time. It started with realizing I had a voice – specifically a voice as a Christian female who also happens to be single. I realized that I had something to say about the way the Church interacted with “my kind.” (Using that phrase probably goes against everything I’ve said for the past 2 years…whatever…)

I was also struggling with that reality. That I was (am) single. That my life plan hadn’t quite played out the way I thought it would.

So I wrote about it. I wrote about my struggles and my triumphs. My interactions with others who try to navigate life differently than their family/friends/church crew expect them to.

And cool things started to happen. I started to see God show up in my life in ways that I didn’t expect. I began to see Him fill holes I forgot were there, because I was letting Him in.

I’ve been on this metaphorical journey for almost 2 years and I feel like it’s time to go on a new one.

I’ve become “Kayla, the Single Blogger” (I just gave myself that name, by the way…)

I don’t want to be known for singleness, I want to be known for Jesus.

So, here we are. Taking this thing in a new direction.

This doesn’t mean that I’ll never write about singleness again, because that is still part of my reality.

But instead I want to write about Jesus. I want to write about what He is doing in my life, in the lives of my family & friends, and how He is transforming hearts for His name’s sake.

I want to become Christ-like, not Kayla-like. I want Matthew 5:16 to be true of me:

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

I hope you’ll stick around, because I think really cool things are about to start happening again.

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