Author Archives: kayla

Jan 13 2016
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Friendship, Relationships

refrigerator rights

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I first heard the term”refrigerator rights” when I sheepishly asked for some water, or coffee, or other beverage at the home of my Gospel Community leaders.

*disclaimer: if you do not know what the phrase ‘Gospel Community’ is, I’m sorry for the Christianese and will try to cut it out from here on. Also, Gospel Community is simply a small group. And if you’re unfamiliar with ‘small group’ it’s basically Sunday school…just not on a Sunday…and also kinda different. I digress.

Okay.

Refrigerator rights.

So, when you have refrigerator rights somewhere, it basically means that you get FULL RANGE of their ‘fridge. Like, you can open it and eat all the things if you want. Now, a normal person wouldn’t eat all the things, but you definitely eat some of the things. Because you’re typically in that place for a long enough time that you’ll need a snack. And at some point you’re cool enough with each other that the people whose ‘fridge you’re eating from are basically like, “dude, get your own cheese stick. You know where the coffee mugs are. And George Clooney isn’t going to pop out of nowhere when you hit that Nespresso machine.”

When I think about dwelling somewhere, I immediately think of all the places where I have refrigerator rights. I think of the people that fill those homes.

I am absolutely blown away by the way I am loved by those around me.

I love that I can invite myself over for lunch after church on a random Sunday and I end up staying for 4 hours – and be so caught up in conversation that I don’t look at my phone once. I love that at another friend’s house, when she gets me water, she automatically puts it in a plastic cup because she knows I love that cup – also, no ice please. I love that another knows just the right amount of wine to pour in the glass, and that she knows what kind of wine I’ll like because I don’t even know myself half of the time.

I love that I am known by so many. And yes, I am saying that selfishly.

I love that my people (really, they’re more like a tribe) know me better than I know myself. That they can look at me and know something is wrong. Or they can look at me and know there is something going on that is worth celebrating.

And I also love that they let me know them. That they share their struggles, their life-highs, their tears, and their deep belly-laughs with me.

I have never been known and known others the way that I do now. And I’m realizing more and more, day by day, that life is not meant to be lived alone.

God Himself even says that. It is not good for man to be alone. So He made a helper for him.

It is not good for woman to be alone either. And I think God made helpers for us, too. Those helpers come in many different forms – moms, sisters, friends, husbands, grandmas, etc.

Right now, my helpers are those that give me refrigerator rights. They are my tribe – the ones that will not let me live life alone.

This week is basically just a brag table moment of how awesome my people are, but I don’t really care. Dwelling with my people is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.

*also, yes, the kitchen pictured here is the kitchen my original refrigerator rights were given out 🙂

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Jan 06 2016
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Contentment, Identity

learning to dwell

dwell

For the past few years I’ve done this pretty cool (to me, at least) thing where I pick a word or theme of the year. One year it was discipline, last year it was #toshowingup, and this year it is “dwell.”

I think we can all agree that the only thing most of us resolve to do is not follow through on our New Year’s resolutions, so, in place of that, a friend introduced me to choosing a word/theme for the year.

I like the consistency of learning how to implement a theme over the course of the year. I enjoy the process way more than the outcome. AND it’s a lot less pressure than having to stop drinking coffee and go to the gym 8 days a week starting January 1.

So here we are, 2016, and I’m going to dwell.

I want to learn what it means to be in the present with God and myself.

I want to stop being anxious over uncontrollable circumstances.

I want to know deep in my soul that my identity and value are unshakable in Christ.

I want to dwell in the presence of my Maker, resting in His goodness alone.

Merriam-Webster defines dwell as a verb that means, “to remain for a time.”

It is active, yet it is passive. You have to make the choice to remain somewhere.

It’s easy for me to talk about rest, and dwelling, and sitting, and remaining. It’s a WHOLE ‘NOTHER BALL GAME for me to actually do it for a time.

I’m decent at dwelling for a day or so, when it’s convenient for me. But this year, this go ’round, I want to dwell forever. I want the time to not have a frame – I want to be with Jesus and remain in Him.

I doubt I’ll have this whole dwelling thing figured out by 2017. If I do, maybe you could take me out for queso and I’ll tell you all the secret things.

But I am excited about what 2017 will look like because I will have dwelt with the Savior. I will continue to learn more and more every day what it means to have my identity anchored in the Unchangeable One.

This year will be one for the books (blogs) and I’m excited to share it with you.

*what is God calling you to in this coming year? Is there a theme or word you can own for 2016?

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Dec 19 2015
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Identity

my choice of gods

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A couple of my personal gods are represented in the picture above. Well, now that I think about it, probably 3.

No, five.

5 of my gods are represented in this picture. If you want to know what they are, we’ll talk about it later. I don’t have time to get in to specifics here! A blog must be written!

I woke up this morning, watched an episode of One Tree Hill, then decided to put some real pants on and go downstairs. I had plans for today – plans that included being as isolated and lazy as possible. But then, I noticed my Bible.

There it was, sitting on the arm of my chair, staring me down.

And my plans changed. I decided to choose the Word this morning.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Of course you did. You’re a Christian. You love Jesus. That’s what you’re supposed to do…read your Bible, fool!”

But I don’t always make that choice. Most often, I choose to love other gods. I choose to love relationship status, finances, friendships, knowledge, approval…all the things. I choose myself. I decide that there is a god better for me than the One True God. I decide that I AM is not enough.

Without even really recognizing it, I line all of my little gods up every morning and decide which one I will serve that day.

It might be power on Monday, control on Tuesday, approval Wednesday, food Thursday, finances on Friday, then I get to Jesus on Saturday and Sunday.

We all have to come to a point in our lives where we wake up, every morning, and choose Jesus. He isn’t the type of Savior that is going to force Himself on His people. Jesus isn’t in the business of bullying people in to the Kingdom. BUT He is in the business of redeeming sinners. He is in the business of providing comfort, peace, healing, and joy. He is in the business of changing hearts from stone to flesh and convicting His children of their sin.

Jesus is in the business of making Himself known and bringing His Father glory.

I want to be a part of that business. I want to choose redemption and love and joy and peace and all of the other words we like to throw around at Christmas time.

I want to choose a God that loves me so much He sent His own Son to become flesh – to walk the earth He created – in order to die as the Perfect Lamb, rise on the third day, and save His people from their sins.

Will this be an automatic for me? No. It won’t. As Paul says in Romans 7, “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (v.19)

Will this be possible? Yes. Because it is by grace that I have been saved – not of my works but by the final work of Jesus on the cross.

The satisfaction, fullness, and restoration that only Jesus can offer is the only thing I want.

Today, I choose Jesus.

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Dec 09 2015
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Identity

pass on over, please

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One of my favorite things about the internet is that there is a never ending supply of stuff.

Just stuff, in general.

This week I opened my computer with the intention looking up a recipe and I ended up watching youtube videos of Tina Fey.

Stuff.

OR I have an issue with staying focused.

Who knows.

But seriously, that stuff can end up being really good stuff. Take, for instance, all of the amazing resources we have to learn and grow in our knowledge of God and His Word.

One of my favorite websites for this specific purpose is SheReadsTruth. I love the reading plans they come up with and the commentary they have on each passage read together.

Currently, SheReadsTruth is going through an Advent reading. Today’s reading was on Jesus being the True & Better Passover Lamb.

If you have not heard/read the story of the Passover, I HIGHLY encourage you to read Exodus 12 and get yourself familiar.

The first passover occurred when God commanded His people in Egypt to sacrifice a lamb,  spread it’s blood over their doors, and God passed over them, sparing them from death in their household.

Jesus is the True & Better Passover Lamb because His blood has made the final, once and for all, atonement for our sins. We are seen as righteous because of Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf.

Blows. My. Mind. Every time.

In reading through the devotional material on SheReadsTruth, I came to this:

More often than not, I live under the weight of my own sin, as if Christ’s sacrifice isn’t enough to cover my own transgressions. I look around frantically for solutions to fix what I have broken, but overcorrecting only leads me to legalism – the opposite of freedom in Christ.

“Overcorrecting only leads me to legalism…”

Man. Yep. Ditto, sister.

Jesus is True and Better and Final and Forever. I can do no more and no less to earn His love or His redemption. It simply is.

I fail. I sin. I rebel against an Almighty God.

But I cannot dig myself out of that. I cannot correct my own ways. And trying to only leads to self-reliance and a belief that Jesus isn’t good enough. That somehow, His blood shed upon a cross just won’t cut it for me.

I may say I believe with my mouth, but my actions are speaking something totally different.

I want the freedom only Christ provides. Because I know it is there that I am truly able to rest in true satisfaction and live with deep peace and joy that can never be shaken.

That is my prayer for us – that we would know Jesus is True & Better.

*see Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy explain Passover before you go read about it 

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Dec 02 2015
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Contentment

unquenchable thirst

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I’ve been sitting in my chair in this coffee shop for a solid ten minutes trying to figure out a clever line to open this blog with…

I was also eating a breakfast burrito, so I’m not that mad about it.

But for serious.

I often think that I have to be this quick-witted, funny person 24/7, and when I’m not I get a little insecure. When I don’t live up to the expectations I believe people place on me, I feel like a failure and I’m often concerned that people won’t want to be around me. Dramatic? Yes. Honest? Also, yes.

I thirst for approval. I long to be known. I desire deep satisfaction.

And I don’t think I’m the only one.

This past weekend I was reading John 4, the story of Jesus and the Woman of Samaria. This is a story I’ve heard 1.7 billion times (where my grew-up-in-the-church kids at?!), but I saw this bit of Scripture in a new light this time around.

Jesus approaches this woman who was the town outcast, had multiple husbands, and was such a social pariah she had to go draw water when no one else was around.

In reading this story I became empathetic toward the woman. She was searching for something.

Approval.
Being known.
Satisfaction.

She=me.

And what does Jesus say to her?

but whoever drinks of the water that I will give will never be thirsty again (John 4:14)

And the woman says, “Sir, give me this water…”

I picture her, with her hands cupped, kneeling next to Jesus, begging for Him to give her a sip of the one thing she thinks will complete her, will fix her.

Now, I’m not sure she really got what he was saying. I’ll never know this side of heaven.

BUT, I do know that Jesus saw a woman thirsty for something only He can provide.

He sees me, thirsty and longing for something more, and offers the only thing that can truly, deeply, and fully satisfy.

He offers Himself.

He doesn’t make me draw from the well before He redeems me.

He redeems me, and my well runs even deeper.

I pray I am never over that truth. That there is a God who left His throne in heaven to dwell among His people in order to save them and place them back in to right relationship with Him…man…that’s a God I hope I never get over.

That’s a God I hope I never stop thirsting for.

 

*there’s no clever SNL skit about thirst (at least not one I want to put the effort in to finding right now), so instead, enjoy one of my all-time favorite Amy Poehler characters – Kaitlin!

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