I dated a guy once that told me he didn’t think I was being my “real self” with him. He knew me for quite a while before we dated, so he had seen glimpses of my personality prior to us being in a dating relationship. And he was probably right. I tried to photoshop my life by fixing all of the things I saw as imperfections. I tried to make myself perfect so in turn I could have the perfect relationship.
I was SURE I was dating the perfect man, so if I just fixed myself, I could manipulate my way around what would end up being the perfect relationship. No flaws, just blissful love.
Not sure if you’re aware of this or not, but humans are sinful. Two humans together does not equal sinlessness. No matter how perfect I pretend to be, it doesn’t get rid of my sin.
Expecting perfection also puts unrealistic expectations on the person I’m dating. To assume that this man is without sin and will never hurt me/tick me off/make me cry/drink the last Dr. Pepper is dumb. Just really really really really really so dumb.
The only “cure” to this pesky little desire of perfection is to look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12) and allow Him to transform my heart, making me more like Himself.
Expecting perfection in a relationship isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to my significant other and it isn’t fair to me.
Instead of expecting perfection, I need to expect grace. I need to be ready to extend it when I’m hurt, and I need to be ready to receive it when I’ve done the hurting.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy & beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.-Colossians 3:12-14
I don’t put on perfection. I put on Jesus and let Him work in me.
(to see the full SNL skit where the picture above was snatched from, click here!)
Kayla Smith 