A couple years ago a friend and I read through “The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition.”
(Side note: I think it’s humorous that we can label anything a certain edition and sell it. I should market and sell, “Frozen: Kayla Edition” and see how that goes for me…)
I digress.
She and I really learned a lot through reading that book together–learned about ourselves, each other, and how to interact with those around us in a loving and encouraging way.
A couple big notes of mine that came from that:
(1) My “love tank” is filled by quality time with people and words of affirmation from others.
(2) I get sweaty and socially anxious when people touch me. Please don’t test this theory.*
Back to the love tank.
A running joke between the two of us now is when we affirm something the other does, we jokingly declare, “Affirmation!”
It’s funny and the two of us get it even if you don’t.
The struggle here is when I let affirmation from others dictate my joy, my value, my actions, etc. Often in my life I’ve desired affirmation from people who don’t really have a stake in my life. I search and yearn and try to work for the approval of others.
I search for and yearn for affirmation and approval from a guy. I desire to be lifted up by a man so that my love tank may be filled. I want to hear words spoken by a broken human that stroke my ego and make me feel whole…for a brief moment until I forget his words and feel the need to be affirmed even more. I think that being with a flawed man with somehow make me less flawed. I think that my value is less than what it could be if I were in a relationship with someone that constantly told me he loved me (cause that’s what boyfriends and husbands do, right??).
The truth amidst the long list of lies I tell myself is that Jesus affirms me moment by moment. I can list verses upon verses of this truth, but the first one that comes to mind is Isaiah 62:4
You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.
The word “Hephzibah” mean, “My delight is in her.” The Creator of all, Yahweh Himself has declared His delight in me.
Is there any greater affirmation than that?
Lord please teach my heart to rest in Your affirmation moment by moment!
*a note on physical touch: it only makes me socially anxious if I don’t really know you…again…please don’t test the theory 🙂
Kayla Smith 