Author Archives: kayla

psalm 3

O Lord, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, there is no salvation for him in God. [Selah]
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill. [Selah]
I lay down and slept;  I woke again, for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around. Arise, O Lord! Save me, O my God! For you strike all my enemies on the cheek; you break the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to the Lord; your blessing be on your people! [Selah]

That word, selah. From what research I have done (wikipedia…) we do not know exactly what this word means. However, most smart people agree that it is a term that means, “stop and listen.”

Stop. And listen.

Listen to this God who is a shield about you. Who is your glory. The lifter of your head.

Take a breath and let the Beautiful One reach His hands around your face and drawn you into Him. Know that salvation is yours because of what your great God has done.

Stop. And listen.

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psalm 2

psalm 2

Day 2.
Psalm 2.

Why are the nations so angry? Why do they waste their time with futile plans? The kings of the earth prepare for battle; the rulers plot together against the Lord and against his anointed one. “Let us break their chains,” they cry, “and free ourselves from slavery to God.”

But the one who rules in heaven laughs. The Lord scoffs at them. Then in anger he rebukes them, terrifying them with his fierce fury. For the Lord declares, “I have placed my chosen king on the throne in Jerusalem, on my holy mountain.”

The king proclaims the Lord’s decree: “The Lord said to me, ‘You are my son. Today I have become your Father. Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, the whole earth as your possession. You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots.'”

Now then, you kings, act wisely! Be warned, you rulers of the earth! Serve the Lord with reverent fear, and rejoice with trembling. Submit to God’s royal son, or he will become angry, and you will be destroyed in the midst of all your activities – for his anger flares up in an instant. But what joy for all who take refuge in him!

The One who rules in heaven laughs.

It amazes me that the nations and rulers (read: humans) felt like they needed to free themselves of slavery to God.

And He laughs at them.

When I think about the way God laughs here, I definitely think it’s an “Oh little one. I do not think you know what you think you know.”

I get that way so often. I think I know better than God. I shake my fists at Him and say things like, “Just give me what I want! Let me out from under this slavery! Break my chains, why dontcha?!”

And I think God laughs.

But with me, I think it’s a compassionate laugh. I think it’s a Fatherly laugh that He extends as He puts His arm around me.

Not a pompous, prideful snicker.

I want that to be my reaction. Compassion first. Grace first. Mercy first. And as I extend my arm around someone and bring them in, we can revel in the deep joy that exists for all of us that take refuge in Him.

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psalm 1

psalm 1

I love the psalms. A pastor once said that the psalms are where theology and emotion meet. I’ve written about that before and the specific psalm he preached on, but now I’m excited to read through them, one by one, and get all theologically emotional with you.

So, here goes.

#1.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields it fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

I grew up by a river. Not like, in a van down by the river, but close enough that I was in the water quite a bit. It’s not hard for me to picture what a tree planted by streams of water looks like. And I love that picture.

Trees by the river are huge, you guys. The roots are gargantuan and loop around to secure themselves in the ground. Sometimes you will come across a tree that looks like it’s about to topple over into the river, but it doesn’t. ‘Cause, roots.

I want to be like those trees. Not necessarily the ones that are just a bit off shore, firmly planted, going nowhere for a long, long time. But like the ones that, even when they look like they’re about to tip right over into the water, they don’t – they are clinging so tightly that they will not be moved. I want the inclination of my heart to be so focused on God that my roots are looping and digging in anyway possible to stay secure in my Maker.

The word “delight” here means, “desire; a valuable thing; the root idea is to incline toward something.”

This is my prayer through this series. That I would incline toward Jesus. That He would become a more valuable thing to me than He ever has been.

Day 1 down, team. This is exciting.

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why wait until Monday?

why wait

Have you ever heard the phrase, “I’ll start on Monday.”
Or decided to take on a new lifestyle habit (diet, exercise, etc.) and used that phrase yourself?

Just me?

Okay. Well. I’ll just talk to myself then.

I’ve been undisciplined in writing lately. I feel uninspired and dull and like I have nothing to say. And that’s not true. I have things to say, I’m just nervous about saying them. Nervous about revealing just a little too much and pushing people away. Nervous about saying something offensive and never recovering a relationship from it.

The enemy has been, quite frankly, pissing me off lately. So I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to pull out my sword and start cutting him down.

Starting tomorrow (not Monday) I’m going to read and write my way through the Psalms. The Psalms are my favorite (hhaaaayyy emotions!!) and I haven’t read through them in a while. And I want to do that in this space, with you.

I don’t know if I’m going to get through all 150 without missing a beat, but I do know that it’s going to be a regular, daily practice for me. And doing it here will keep me accountable. So I’m giving you that permission. Give me a big, virtual smack in the face if you have to!

This is me saying, why wait until Monday? Thursday is a good day to start something too.

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seeking refuge

seeking refuge

This post is somewhat of a love letter to all people currently in my life.

I recently got to witness one of the most real, sweet, quick moments I’ve witnessed in a long time. I was around a couple of moms and one of them was just struggling. Struggling because her kid is a human. And humans are messy, sinful beings. Her kid was demonstrating sin and it was bumming her out. The other mom friend saw through the put-on smile and brush-it-off face, gave her a hug and said something to the effect of, “It’s hard. But you’re a good mom.”

She was able to look at her friend and let her know it was okay to be sad and hurt and feeling feels that were uncomfortable in a public place. She didn’t condemn, correct, or even laugh at the kid’s behavior. She comforted her friend.

I left that interaction (which, by the way, I was basically the creepy bystander eavesdropping on the whole thing…) thinking over and over again, “Man. That’s what we all want. Refuge from the mess. A safe, secure place to just be who we are.”

I think we are all in this space of seeking refuge. (Which is also appropriate in my life because that’s my church’s website, hhhaaaayyy)

We all want space where we can be – not condemned, corrected, or even joined in with the false cover of laughing away hurts and hard things.

In that moment, it was as if a hug from one friend to another let her be more human. It allowed her to feel broken, yet hopeful that she wasn’t alone.

I’m so thankful that I exist in a context of refuge seekers. Of people that allow for hard conversations, hurt hearts, and work with one another to see light pour into the darkness. I honestly don’t know how I did it for so long without them.

All I know is that we can’t seek refuge alone. Yes, our ultimate refuge is in Christ. And yes, He alone has the ability and right to satisfy.

But we still need each other. We need to lock arms and plummet head first into the heaviness of life, scratching and clawing for a bit of refuge in the pit together.

I’m tired of the mask of “Okay” and “Fine.” I’m tired of thinking that no one will ever understand, or, once they do understand they’ll want nothing to do with me.

Cause guess what, that’s exactly what the enemy wants. He wants us isolated. He wants us to believe the lie that we are incapable of love and goodness and redemption.

But once we bring people in – once we tell satan to suck it, and bring our fellow beautiful, messy, sinful, redeemed people in – the enemy has to leave. And we find refuge. We find it together.

So let’s get together a put a white-knuckle grip around one another, knowing that hard stuff is okay, unwilling to let go of each other. Let’s stop dealing with things alone. Let’s have tough conversations. Let’s listen well to those that are hurting. Let’s be just as good at grieving as we are at celebrating.

And then, let’s celebrate that the King and Mighty Refuge of our souls has indeed loved sinners such as us.

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